Where is the strength? When did I lose myself in this madness? When I look in the mirror, I only saw sad empty eyes staring back at me. I didn’t recognize who I was anymore. I was afraid of being ME. It was only my reflection, but that’s all I saw, fragments of a tainted reflection of the person I once was. The light that once lit up my eyes,...
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February 18, 2014
Disclaimer: Any information provided in this blog is based on my own personal experiences and opinions. No information I provide should ever replace the opinions and advice of a professional. I am not a doctor, psychiatrist or affiliated with any Mental Health Organization. I ask you to please consult with your own physician before you decide to...
February 12, 2014
My girls were three and five the first time I was admitted to a psychiatric facility. I had just crashed from my biggest manic episode and the fallout from my poor decisions had thrown me into a horrible depression. The year prior to this, I had had a smaller episode in which I took my girls and left their father, Scott, and for the...
February 4, 2014
When you lose someone in your life that is close to you, there’s a part of you that dies as well. As I was entering my 20’s, I knew that there would come a day when my parents weren’t with me anymore. It still didn’t seem real. It felt like if I just pushed that notion to the back of my mind, I could make the whole concept...
January 30, 2014
I am going to touch upon a subject in which I might offend someone I know. I’m willing to take this chance, however, for if I influence anyone who may someday take action if given the chance, I will be thrilled. If someone you know is hospitalized in a locked-down mental health ward and she is allowing visitors, GO FOR A BRIEF...
January 8, 2014
After being a fan of the International Bipolar Foundation blogging community, it is an honor to share my perspectives about living with bipolar disorder with you. I wish to help you feel less alone in living with this mood disorder, and to emulate the I.B.F.’s mission to “erase stigma through education.” I grew up close to my violinist father...
January 3, 2014
Every time I hear “I Gotta Feeling” by Black Eyed Peas ( http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uSD4vsh1zDA ) I am instantly energized. It brings me back to the 2010 Olympics in Vancouver which I was fortunate to go to. I went to some events and heard this song seemingly everywhere I went around the downtown core. It was an incredible...
August 13, 2013
Still Hopeful Mom
Recently, I went to my first mental health support group meeting. I must admit I was nervous. What would people talk about? What would people think of me? Would I have to talk? If so, what would I say? Though I've never been afraid to speak my mind, this was different. I was actually nervous to tell my story. That is, until I started hearing the...
July 29, 2013
I was diagnosed with bipolar disorder eleven years ago. Over the years, I have become familiar with my symptoms and I’m actually good at recognizing them for what they are (which is a good thing) and addressing them. One of the main issues I have always had are my thoughts. Racing thoughts, obsessive thoughts and grandiose thoughts (although I don...
July 18, 2013
What is it about stories of past episodes in our life. We all love to tell them. The amazing thing is we retell and retell the same stories to our family and friends as if they constituted a fresh audience every time.My in-laws are well into their seventies and, although they winter in Florida, they spend the rest of the time in our house. Being...
I don't like running. To be honest, I began running out of vanity. My ten year high school reunion was coming up and I refused to look as if I'd just bore two children when I walked through that ballroom door so I started running. Walking just took too long. Since then, ten years have passed and I'm still running. I don't run fast and I don't run...
June 25, 2013
I’m often asked what gave me HOPE through my darkest years and what gets me through rough patches today. There are several key techniques and practices that have helped me throughout the years, and I’m not hesitant to implement them today when I need them. Aside from the clearly important things, like staying on your medication, and communicating...