Trying to explain Bipolar Disorder to a three year old and a five year old was one of the hardest things I have ever done. How was I going to put this into words that they could understand? Telling them that I was in the hospital because I was tired was more confusing to them. Everyday they saw me taking my medication, and everyday...
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March 7, 2014
On Presidents’ Day, a school holiday, I awoke to an unscheduled day. I needed something to do with my daughter Marilla, so I decided to take her to the park. (My other little girl, Avonlea, headed for her best friend’s house.) The weather was clear and sunny, but my mind was stormy and gloomy. I wanted to hide in my bed, read a book, and not have...
March 4, 2014
I was having an intellectual conversation with a credit card customer services representative located in the Philippines. I asked her how mental illness was perceived in the Philippines, particularly psychosis. I asked her if there was stigma associated with mental illness. She said, “ooohh they are considered broad minded people, highly creative...
March 3, 2014
I don’t remember all the details of that night or what inspired the events that were about to take place. I imagine my father and mother had gotten into some kind of tug of war match over me and it was the last straw that broke the camel’s back so to speak. I can remember I had locked myself in my room. I wanted to be alone, but I was so full of...
February 26, 2014
Ever since my bipolar depression lifted last year, I've felt I've been tumbling around in my dryer. Maybe that's not the best analogy, but it has been a long, strange, emotional trip! I’ve been holding my breath both literally and figuratively. I’ve always been an anxious person, and once bipolar disorder entered my life, my anxiety...
February 26, 2014
Before I knew that I have Bipolar Disorder, I barely knew what it was. I thought I did, but now I realize I didn’t know much about it at all. Since being diagnosed I’ve done a great deal of research and study on BPD for a book that I’m writing. With all that I’ve learned, it’s made my whole life make sense for the first time....
February 24, 2014
Where is the strength? When did I lose myself in this madness? When I look in the mirror, I only saw sad empty eyes staring back at me. I didn’t recognize who I was anymore. I was afraid of being ME. It was only my reflection, but that’s all I saw, fragments of a tainted reflection of the person I once was. The light that once lit up my eyes,...
February 18, 2014
Disclaimer: Any information provided in this blog is based on my own personal experiences and opinions. No information I provide should ever replace the opinions and advice of a professional. I am not a doctor, psychiatrist or affiliated with any Mental Health Organization. I ask you to please consult with your own physician before you decide to...
February 12, 2014
My girls were three and five the first time I was admitted to a psychiatric facility. I had just crashed from my biggest manic episode and the fallout from my poor decisions had thrown me into a horrible depression. The year prior to this, I had had a smaller episode in which I took my girls and left their father, Scott, and for the...
February 4, 2014
When you lose someone in your life that is close to you, there’s a part of you that dies as well. As I was entering my 20’s, I knew that there would come a day when my parents weren’t with me anymore. It still didn’t seem real. It felt like if I just pushed that notion to the back of my mind, I could make the whole concept...
January 30, 2014
I am going to touch upon a subject in which I might offend someone I know. I’m willing to take this chance, however, for if I influence anyone who may someday take action if given the chance, I will be thrilled. If someone you know is hospitalized in a locked-down mental health ward and she is allowing visitors, GO FOR A BRIEF...
January 8, 2014
After being a fan of the International Bipolar Foundation blogging community, it is an honor to share my perspectives about living with bipolar disorder with you. I wish to help you feel less alone in living with this mood disorder, and to emulate the I.B.F.’s mission to “erase stigma through education.” I grew up close to my violinist father...