I write this entry in my blog with a very heavy heart, as I mourn with the rest of the world over the tragic news of Robin Williams passing. A brilliant man, in every sense of the word, an amazing actor, a Talented Comedian, a man who shared the gift of laughter with the world. It breaks our hearts in a million pieces to...
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August 8, 2014
I hate myself right now. I hate myself every time I’m depressed. I just started a new medication after gaining 9 pounds in a month on the previous med I tried, so I’m depressed about that on top of having general depression. Since I’m starting over again on a new medication, I have to wait out the 4-6 weeks it can take for the...
August 8, 2014
Lately I’ve been wondering about friendship, including what I can realistically offer as a friend now. To be honest, I don’t have that much to give this summer. It has only been a year since my last hospitalization for bipolar depression. I’ve had multiple hospitalizations for bipolar disorder since I was diagnosed in 2007...
August 7, 2014
Last year at this time, I was soaring high with my first full-blown manic episode. I was feeling better than I've felt in my entire life. Colors were brighter, music sounded better, and my talents came out like never before. I had recently taken up painting and my work was amazing. Music sounded incredible. I swear I could hear each and every note...
August 7, 2014
I'd like to discuss, briefly, to what extent neurodiverse conditions affect conceptions of identity. For those of you familiar with the “Neurodiversity” movement, you'll be aware of the debate that self-advocacy has stirred in the world of mental well-being. The movement takes its origin from the development of an online community through which...
August 6, 2014
Mary Alice Do
I’ve had episodes of depression throughout my life, but it was only seventeen years ago that I realized I had a mental illness. Up until that time, I blamed the episodes on circumstances of my life like being away from home my first time, escaping from Vietnam in ’75, my husband becoming seriously ill, him dying, my daughters going off to...
August 6, 2014
I'm here to talk to you about guilt. This is something that I felt for several years after I got help for my disorder. I couldn't believe the things that I had said and done to both my husband and mother. I was beyond devastated. I was apologizing constantly. I even talked about it in therapy. Even though they had both forgiven me time and...
August 5, 2014
Like many or most of you, I have ideas popping into my head all the time. They range from simple things like sending a text or email to someone to just say hi, all the way to new businesses that I’d love to start up. I also have projects at home that I start with gusto...some of them get completed and some of them don’t. In my...
August 2, 2014
When I was a child, I always imagined myself living in the country when I was an adult. Living off the grid in a small cottage in the woods, completely self-sustainable surrounded by beautiful rolling hills and lush green fields and keeping a goat for company. As it turned out, as an adult that dream hasn’t come to fruition. Instead, I have...
July 30, 2014
Every time someone suggests I read an article on having Bipolar, I discover that articles written or paraphrased by normal people always find a way to quip on how people with mental illness should adopt more normal activities in order to enjoy life. It is appalling that with all the available information and sensitization on mental health, the...
July 24, 2014
Why wouldn’t I? I am a very blunt and honest person and I don’t often beat around the bush. I do not ever make excuses for who I am…to anyone. Why would I ever hide a very important part of me? I wasn’t always so forthright with my diagnosis. I have been diagnosed with bipolar 1 (rapid cycle), borderline personality disorder and PTSD. It...
July 23, 2014
It's only a 4 letter word. It's a terrific motivator. It determines whether or not I think life is worth living. And if it's lacking it's awfully hard to move on with daily tasks. Yes I am talking about hope. It's funny how quickly my concept of hope changes. But today I am feeling overly optimistic. You see among my illness I thought I lost...