Author: Nicholas A Duran, LMHC I want to run through the city. Then I want to lie down in the street. I’m sitting in the park, crying. I’m fighting for my life. One minute we’re celebrating our anniversary— I’m happy, in love, present. The next morning I wake up to...
Author: Lisa MacDonald There have been times when my mind felt like it was moving a thousand miles an hour while my emotions were sinking into darkness. My body was restless, yet my thoughts were filled with despair. I couldn’t sleep. My thoughts raced uncontrollably,...
Author: Anonymous Anosognosia is a neurological condition in which a person is unable to recognize their own illness. It is often misunderstood as denial or resistance, but it is neither. It reflects impaired awareness caused by changes in brain function, and it is...
Author: Nicholas Duran, LMHC Bipolar disorder is often misdiagnosed. First it’s depression. Then anxiety. Maybe ADHD. Perhaps you’re prescribed an antidepressant, and before long you find yourself spiraling somewhere you never expected—sometimes even landing in the...
Author: Terri Cheney For as far back as I can remember, I’ve been susceptible to intense, erratic bouts of emotional turbulence. It wasn’t until I was 34 that my unpredictable swings of mood and energy were finally recognized for what they were: classic bipolar I...
Author: Jillian LaFrance, PhD When people hear the term bipolar disorder, many immediately think of mood swings. It is a phrase that is often used casually and inaccurately, sometimes as a shorthand for normal emotional ups and downs. For those who live with the...
Anonymous asks: What’s the difference between bipolar disorder and borderline personality disorder? Bipolar disorder and borderline personality disorder (BPD) are often confused and misdiagnosed. They can even co-occur. However, I will explain the fundamental...
Author: Matthew Palmieri Dating with bipolar disorder sometimes feels like everyone else got the rulebook and I didn’t. Breakups hit harder. Rejection lingers longer. I’ve been through a lot: relationships that ended in disaster, a marriage that unraveled under the...
Author: Dr. Jillian LaFrance True crime, dramatic television shows, and sensational headlines have turned mental illness into a familiar storytelling plot: someone with a diagnosis snaps, and chaos follows. For people with bipolar disorder, this narrative is...
Author: Nicholas Duran I often return to the same question: How do I keep living when so much has been lost? The answer, for me, has never been simple. It has been forged in the layers of trauma, the long corridors of grief, and the unpredictable tides of bipolar...
Author: Matthew Palmieri Coming to Terms Over the last few years of stability, I’ve found myself feeling both peaceful and a little heartbroken. Peaceful because I’ve finally accepted my diagnosis. Heartbroken because I spent so many years fighting it. Every time I’d...
Author: Mihali Mqushulu Ahhhhhh. The roaring 20s. You’re a young women stepping into what most might consider: your prime! The world is your playground, with endless possibilities and iridescent dreams that are coming to life right in front of you. You are in your...
Author: April Joy Mansilla I enter the unit armed with a cart of creative tools. These are not just brushes and paints, but instruments of self-expression and hope, my hope and theirs. I am an expressive arts teacher in Acute Psychiatry at St. Joseph’s Healthcare...
Dear world, I used to covet you – wanting all of you all at once (I was so sick) Why? I cannot keep carrying you – why do they keep expecting me to? I’m not so sick (but I’ll always be) I will never forget the times we spent fumbling through...
Author: Minnie Almader Trigger warning: This content contains a description of a near accidental drowning. For some people a trigger can affect them by shutting down or feeling numb. Others may feel a lot of anxiety in their body. The body and mind work together but...
Author: Nicholas A. Duran, LMHC When I’m depressed, most people don’t notice. I still work. I still show up. I’ve presented choreography on stage, supported my therapy clients, attended meetings. But beneath the surface, it’s fog. Thick and impenetrable. A barrier...
Author: Matthew Jackman I was born in 1990 into a lineage marked by intergenerational hardship, stretching from convict resettlement in England to the Irish potato famine. These histories of suffering and endurance shaped the soil into which I was born in Australia....
Author: Matthew Palmieri Bipolar disorder leaves a trail of collateral damage—during both depression and mania. From the outside looking in, it must be confusing. It can feel like I’ve been temporarily abducted, replaced by a version of myself that has no reason, no...
By Melissa Howard I was still a child when I realized my moods were different from other kids my age. This awareness came even before the traumatic accident I experienced prior to my eleventh birthday, the medical negligence, and the two additional—yet...
Author: Mihali Mqushulu Imagine this: you’re fresh from your psychiatrist office, still placing the plaguing thoughts in your mind that confirm a new life and identity — you have been diagnosed with manic depression. A few things then cognitively jump at you: Am I...
Author: Nicholas A. Duran, LMHC As a queer Mexican American therapist, former professional dancer, and researcher, I’ve always been fascinated by the ways art and mental health intertwine. Before becoming a counselor, I earned an MFA in dance, where I learned that...
Author: Tom Luker I used to find joy in the cracks of the world, In shadows that danced, in leaves as they twirled. A puddle was poetry, rain sang in rhyme, Each moment a treasure, unmeasured by time. Back then, the wind whispered secrets to me, The stars told me...
Author: Maria Mainelli Atlanta-based comedian Maria Mainelli turns the ups and downs of bipolar 1 into sharp, honest, and hilarious storytelling. In this Q&A, she shares how her diagnosis shaped her creativity, her comedy, and her outlook on what it means to be...
Author: Matthew Palmieri There’s nothing quite like the rush of a manic episode—the clarity, the boundless energy, the feeling of being untouchable. Ideas come faster than I can process them. Sleep becomes optional. Music hits differently. The world feels like it’s...
Author: Major General Gregg Martin, US Army (Retired), PhD, with his wife Maggie and son Phil In my book, Bipolar General: My Forever War with Mental Illness, I capture “Family Perspectives” in the Appendix. My wife Maggie and our three sons explain that they just...
Author: Jillian LaFrance, PhD I have Bipolar II disorder. On paper, I look like someone who has it all together: multiple degrees, a full-time career, a part-time teaching position, and a daughter I’m raising on my own. Most days, I keep up with everything. I meet...
Author: Kimberly Pratt I exit my car and shut the door. I’m in the San Francisco Bay Area and it’s hot outside. I glance ahead and see a sign that indicates a 12-step meeting. That’s the space, I’m here, that’s where I need to go. But I’m different. I’m not just an...
Author: Lexie Manion I have been in remission from bipolar disorder for six years now. The last major mood episodes I experienced due to bipolar disorder were a depressive episode a few years ago and a hypomanic episode a year ago. It’s been important for me to stay...
Poem Author: Tom Luker The Enemy Between My Ears The enemy between my ears has no face, A shadow that lingers, a ghost taking space. It whispers in echoes too quiet to trace, Yet somehow, it’s louder than all I embrace. An identity unknown, yet it knows...
Author: Matthew Palmieri When I look back on my past behavior—especially during manic or depressive episodes—it’s hard not to feel shame or embarrassment. Even after some recovery and ongoing acceptance, there are moments I still cringe over. As much as I’ve accepted...
Author: Melissa Howard Opening up conversations about mental health as a family can feel daunting, especially when it involves complex conditions like bipolar disorder. Yet, as my spouse’s reflections reveal, beginning the conversations early and creating openness can...
Author: Melissa Howard Living with bipolar disorder (BD) creates many unknowns—variables that shape my life in ways that those without a mental illness may never have to consider. BD doesn’t just affect my day-to-day; it impacts my entire family. Every decision I make...
Author: Jillian LaFrance, Ph.D. Bipolar disorder is often portrayed as dramatic swings in mood and behavior, typically characterized by episodes of mania or hypomania and depression. But for many, bipolar disorder exists quietly behind a guise of competence,...
Author: Jillian LaFrance PhD Bipolar disorder is characterized by dramatic mood, energy, and activity level shifts, which manifest as mania or hypomania (elevated mood) and depression (lowered mood), is associated with neurotransmitter imbalances (serotonin,...
Author: Jamie Hopkins As is the same with so many varsity athletes, training and competing takes up the majority of my time and energy, but more importantly, my passion and purpose. So, when I found myself hospitalized with a mixed episode while in the midst of...
Author: Jillian LaFrance Navigating the world with bipolar disorder can sometimes feel like walking through a hall of mirrors, where distorted reflections of reality constantly challenge your perception. For those unfamiliar, bipolar disorder is often shrouded...
Author: Charles Kelly Before my manic episode, I was completely unaware of how I came off to others. My ego controlled every part of my life. If something did not go my way, I would defend my position, even when I knew I was wrong. Classmates, coworkers, and...
Author: Thiago Genaro There is no storm outside. The marriage is at a cool stage. The children are doing well at school. The Labrador puppy brings joy to the house. At work, you were recently promoted. The company’s environment is healthy, constructive...
Author: Tori Bryl With bipolar disorder, every depressive episode varies in length and intensity, with a fleeting epiphany that holds the key to breaking free. This past summer, I was in a four-month depressive episode— the longest I’ve ever experienced....
By: Margaret Fitzgerald I was a moody, undiagnosed, anxious bipolar child that self-soothed with food. I was always ten pounds overweight, and my parents catastrophized it. So many weight loss tactics were tried. One diet included eating only carbs until noon and then...
By Natalia A. Beiser Please note: These are Natalia’s experiences with Lithium and Dialysis. Not every patient will share the same experiences. I have now been on dialysis for one year and two months. The psychiatrist and I have had the Lithium dosage at a level that...
Actors, Institutions, and Networks My recovery could not happen without myriad actors, institutions, and networks among those actors and institutions. When I wasn’t enough, my family saved me. When family wasn’t enough, friends helped out. When friends did all they...
By Melinda Goedeke I laugh sarcastically every time I watch a commercial about medication for the treatment of bipolar disorder. Unkempt young men and women are shown in dark, depressing places with vacuous eyes and downtrodden faces until they take the miracle...
Formerly known as “manic depressive illness,” bipolar disorder is a term that, according to the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM-5), comprises a cluster of related disorders that are characterized by distinctive and extreme shifts, or...
by Melinda Goedeke I’m often asked whether or not I saw the signs. What I hear in that question is blame and responsibility; assignment of fault. I didn’t see the signs because there weren’t many to see; I saw Laura – my delightful, radiant, and complicated...
Author: Catalina Bellizzi-Itiola Sometimes I look back at the timeline of my life’s volatile mood fluctuations, and it makes me worry about what on earth my future will look like. Will I hold a job? Will I have a child? Will I be able to survive more episodes? Even...
Author: Margaret Fitzgerald My family knew little about serious mental illness when I was diagnosed with bipolar disorder. Hindsight is 20/20. What follows are what would have best helped me be successful in life before and after my diagnoses. Many...
Author: Sarah Ross I find strength to persevere through challenging times by simplifying tasks as much as possible and through communication. If I keep my thoughts to myself, I will just end up spiraling. Once I reflect my thoughts to someone I trust, I feel a...
Authors: Major General Gregg Martin, PhD, US Army Retired, and David Bartley May is Mental Health Awareness Month, a month in which we shine a light on mental health. I have chosen to focus on one of the most misunderstood and stigmatized of human experiences –...
Author: Phil Cibicki Dedicated to Ian & Annie, who would most understand what I’m talking about here. Thanks for the time I had with both of you and for showing me how to listen, to be kind, and to have an open mind. I can’t tell which drops come from my tears...
