I have a hard time truly disclosing to anyone how I am doing on the inside. Mood charts were very vague for me and the more I got used to the typical mood rating conversation, the easier it was to not disclose my thoughts and feelings, especially if I wasn’t directly...
What was going on when you were first diagnosed? Do you remember your symptoms? Do you remember where you were and what happened? Why or how you ended up seeing a Doctor or Psychiatrist? Was your family involved? Or were you alone?I first noticed that I saw the robins...
Bipolar and Recovery. Two words that don’t normally go together in many circles. But, new research has determined that “recovery” is attainable for those with Bipolar and possibly other mental illnesses.What does it take? Is there a magic pill? Why haven’t we heard of...
Last Tuesday, I was telling my friend Anna that generally speaking, I am quite self-aware when it comes to my bipolar moods. I have never been able to understand it when people say things like, “I was depressed, but I didn’t even know it”, because I am so acutely...
I went to my psychiatrist Friday for a follow-up from my initial visit a month ago. I’d had high hopes with the Wellbutrin/anxiety pill prescription combo. I felt better…happy…for a couple weeks. Then, depression set in. Like the can’t-get-out-of-bed variety. It...
Idk why, but I’m feeling the need to out myself & what better place than fb? I’m bipolar 1 & am having postpartum MANIA. I was so scared of ppd that I never even thought of this side. I’m in solution – my team is observing me – I...
I saw a new psychiatrist recently. He is wonderful. Also, I’ve been officially diagnosed as bipolar II. I suspected as much, but never had specific confirmation. I’ve been feeling much better on my new medication, so I have hope. There are still a few side effects,...
I have horrible taste in men, and it’s really getting old. I’m not gonna lie. I spent most of my twenties in a sudo manic high so lost a lot of years trying to find true love. I managed to scare off most of the men in New York and Los Angeles with my intensity which...
They come in threes.1. I spun out over Time Magazine’s controversial article Are You Mom Enough? extolling the virtues of attachment parenting, AKA, baby-centered parenting, which includes breastfeeding well into toddler years, co-sleeping and a strong distain for...
I am one of those people who feels the need to make a difference. I hate to stand by and see others suffer. So it’s no surprise that I tend to be drawn to the kind of jobs known as “the helping professions.” Over the last 15 years, as well as...
Patience means…Not the ability to wait but the ability to keep a good attitude while waitingI read this recently…and here are some thoughts I have on what I am waiting for…I read this recently…and here are some thoughts I have on what I am...
Everyone dreams right? We all have wishes of what could be or what we’d like or even whom. However, dreaming when we should be sleeping is something different. And for those of us with Bipolar Disorder, dreaming can become a minefield we maneuver in our sleeping...
Recently, I took a huge nose dive in the roller coaster I like to call, My Illness. I thought I had everything under control, but by “under control” I really meant “hidden under the surface festering and stockpiling for the perfect moment to burst and destroy.” Boy...
Last week, The Institute of Mental Health in singapore started a campaign called Burst The Silence – to encourage people to talk about mental illness.It made me think of when and why we choose to share our stories, those of us who have been touched by...
Getting any psychiatric diagnosis inevitably leads to a lot of questions. Once someone has been given a clinical label, it’s not surprising that they begin to wonder: why do I have this disorder? What’s the prognosis? What are the treatment options? What will my...
I am scared. Truly, I am frightened by the thought of my disease. At times it completely surrounds every part of my being. The depths of my heart scream out for help, just looking for the right moment to let go. I am wondering if this will ever go away. Do I...
To be clear, I dont agree with the victim mentality and its not my standard default. When I blame others for my troubles, Im not taking responsibility for my life and my choices. I always look for my part in any negative, or what I perceive as a negative,...
Not on the level of schizophrenia or DID by any means. He’s not hearing voices and it’s still him when these things happen but it’s not really “him.” It’s almost like there are 2 versions of my son. That may be the whole point of...
Jake just turned 12. He lives with me full time and spends time with his dad on the weekends and most holidays. He was a very happy and easy baby and hit all of his developmental milestones early or on time. During his toddler years, we hit the terrible 2’s and...
I destroyed my first marriage through infidelity, wild spending sprees, outbursts of rage, and many of the other hallmarks of uncontrolled bipolar mania. People who know the ugly details of my story are often surprised to learn that my second marriage is so successful...
I’m racing out the door with my work bag slung over my shoulder, a glass of water in one hand, and my handful of morning medications in the other. Anti-depressant? Check. Mood stabilizer? Check. Adderall? Check. Anti-anxiety? Check. I gulp them down with the...
When I woke up that morning in hospital, ten years ago, she stood there. The psychologist I started to see about three months prior to becoming manic for the first time. I went to see her, because deep inside myself it felt as if something was “not right”, but neither...
Putting baby locks on the kitchen cabinets to protect her toddler was one thing, but locking away the steak knives from her seven year old was not what Muffy Walker ever imagined would be necessary. Walker also never imagined she would need to use her skills as a...
