Category: Suicide

A Three-Headed Monster: Mental Illness, Stigma, and Suicide

A Three-Headed Monster: Mental Illness, Stigma, and Suicide

By: Gregg F. Martin Ph.D. Suicide is one of the most misunderstood and stigmatized of human experiences. We need a call to arms, not in the sense of weapons, but rather with people working together. Most suicides result from a combination of two things: a mental...

Afghanistan war vets are still enraged and hurting – reach out and listen

Afghanistan war vets are still enraged and hurting – reach out and listen

As the last American soldier stepped aboard a C-17 cargo plane in Kabul in September 2021 and became the last soldier to leave Afghanistan, my inbox was filling up with messages of despair from Afghan war veterans. They were witnessing a disastrous end to the war for...

Diving into Bipolar

Diving into Bipolar

By: Melinda Goedeke Spying on a lobster the size of my leg while gently swaying back and forth 70 ft. below the sea is both exhilarating and meditative for me. I even secretly like the anxiety of knowing that with each breath my oxygen is depleting. I swim swiftly...

It Ain’t Easy – Meds and Bipolar Disorder

It Ain’t Easy – Meds and Bipolar Disorder

By Melinda Goedeke I laugh sarcastically every time I watch a commercial about medication for the treatment of bipolar disorder. Unkempt young men and women are shown in dark, depressing places with vacuous eyes and downtrodden faces until they take the miracle...

Signs: Everywhere and Nowhere

Signs: Everywhere and Nowhere

by Melinda Goedeke I’m often asked whether or not I saw the signs. What I hear in that question is blame and responsibility; assignment of fault. I didn’t see the signs because there weren’t many to see; I saw Laura – my delightful, radiant, and complicated...

The Three-Headed Monster We Must Now Defeat: Mental Illness, Stigma, and Suicide

The Three-Headed Monster We Must Now Defeat: Mental Illness, Stigma, and Suicide

Authors: Major General Gregg Martin, PhD, US Army Retired, and David Bartley May is Mental Health Awareness Month, a month in which we shine a light on mental health. I have chosen to focus on one of the most misunderstood and stigmatized of human experiences –...

Honoring Her Illness

Honoring Her Illness

Author: Melinda Goedeke Destigmatize: to remove association from shame or disgrace  (according to Miriam Webster). I like destigmatizing; it feels honorable and worthwhile. And it is. I destigmatize all over the place often with tears streaming down my face as I...

Multiplied By 20

Multiplied By 20

Author: Angela McCrimmon Someone stated something that startled me recently. It also left me in a state of reflection and eventually led me to a feeling of encouragement so it might surprise you when I share what their words of wisdom were to brighten up my day. They...

Sure, I’m Okay

Sure, I’m Okay

Author: Melinda Goedeke Recently, I went on an incredible rafting trip down the Colorado River in Moab, Utah. If I fell out of the raft, I was told to put my hand on my head signaling I was okay.  The guide said that okay meant I was alive.  I might be bleeding,...

Eternal Sleep 

Eternal Sleep 

Author: Melinda Goedeke  Sleeping is an event for me. 8:30 p.m. comes around, and I start thinking about sleep. I put on my oversized jammies and crawl into bed ready…..ready to shut down. To stop. To rest. My husband doesn’t do any “readying” and is asleep the moment...

Crystal Clear

Crystal Clear

Author: Melinda Goedeke Contingency plans rule my world because I see the glass as half empty. My kids used to sarcastically call me the beam of optimism because I was always preparing for the impending disaster. It’s one of those special gifts I learned in...

A Rainbow of Hope

A Rainbow of Hope

Author: Melinda Goedeke I remember this moment in time clearly – standing in my office holding my friend Pat’s hand listening as her words tumbled awkwardly yet resolutely out of her mouth and tears quietly cascaded  down her cheeks. “Now, I don’t even have...

My Experiences with Suicidality

My Experiences with Suicidality

Author: Violette Kay Being suicidal while manic is probably the strangest thing I’ve ever experienced. Normally my manic self would think “I would never kill myself. How could I ever be so cruel as to deprive the world of my light?” but this time was different. As I...

A Letter to Liberate

A Letter to Liberate

Author: Sophia Falco Dear Sophia, You are deeply loved. You have not let bipolar disorder 1 define you while living with it for nearly a decade. This is not your fault, and you don’t deserve this suffering. You have persevered through challenging times in the past as...

Bipolar Disorder is a B%!#*!

Bipolar Disorder is a B%!#*!

Author: Kitty Dedicated to all of those we have lost due to mental illness. I strive to endure because I know you are beside me. Surviving an abusive childhood left me with many mental obstacles but I can confidently say that for me personally, bipolar disorder was...

Pause. Just Pause.

Pause. Just Pause.

Author: Melinda Goedeke As the sun sets and the red hues slowly drip into the lake, I pause and watch.  Peace washes over me as I breathe slowly noting the sound of my breath.  It is a stark contrast to the rapid, somewhat panicked breathing I know all too well. The...

Bipolar Disorder, Stigma and Suicide

Bipolar Disorder, Stigma and Suicide

Author: Valéry Brosseau  The gym smelled a bit like a warehouse would smell, but mostly like sweat. I came to this gym 5 times a week to practice Brazilian Jiu Jitsu but tonight I was not feeling it. I struggled through the warm up. My anxiety was making me irritable...

Lay Our Burden Down

Lay Our Burden Down

By: Jayson Blair When I first went to a therapist office, a little more than 15 years ago, there was an intake form that included a long list of conditions under a question about family medical history. Diabetes? Check. Heart disease? Check. Auto-immune diseases?...

Why I Stay

Why I Stay

By: Laura Sanscartier In the throes of my bipolar depression and psychosis, all I wanted to do was die. This has happened multiple times in my life. I have attempted suicide multiple times. I was sure that the only way to relieve the stress on my spouse and family was...

Wife, Mother, And Survivor

Wife, Mother, And Survivor

By: Tosha Maaks I am a lucky suicide survivor. In 2008 I tried to end my life after a hard day at my job. I came home, and I said good-bye to my children, and I climbed into bed to snuggle with my middle child and say my good-byes to him. My husband knew something...

Journey to Recovery

Journey to Recovery

Like many people, my bipolar disorder was misdiagnosed for years. On average, people wait six years for a proper diagnosis. For me, it was decades. In hindsight, my new diagnosis made so much sense and explained so much of what I had been through over the years. It...

Dr. Heaton’s Message Of Hope

Dr. Heaton’s Message Of Hope

My only brother received a gift two days after his birthday, and ten days before Christmas. It was a gift that every person who suffers from mental illness wants. He carried a cross throughout his life called bipolar disorder. Many people – including me, our...

My Story For Suicide Prevention Month

My Story For Suicide Prevention Month

September is Suicide Prevention Month. This is my story of my suicide attempt on September 12, 2014. I have chosen to share this to raise awareness – it has never been told before. Blink. “One, two, three.” My limp body slid to the ER table. Blink. The bright light....

Pushed to The Brink

Pushed to The Brink

When I wrote about my bipolar disorder, anxiety and PTSD, I thought it was the hardest thing I did. But now I realise that what I’m writing about today is the hardest thing I have ever done. The only reason this has taken me so long is the same reason why I kept quiet...

Support For Suicidal Thoughts and Actions

Support For Suicidal Thoughts and Actions

Suicide is a permanent solution to what, with the proper help, could be a short-term situation. It needn’t be permanent. Seek the help and support you need.When I attempted suicide, I caught my support system off guard, including my doctors and psychiatric...

My Symbol of Hope

My Symbol of Hope

For many months, I have been suffering from suicidal ideations. I was completely honest with my psychiatrist, my family and friends who support me. I told them that it was not something I wanted to act on, but I couldn’t get the thought out of my mind. For more than...

To My Friend, On The Other Side Of A Suicide Attempt

To My Friend, On The Other Side Of A Suicide Attempt

Dear, dear friend, I want to say that I’m glad that you did not succeed. Life without you would be a very dull place indeed. You have made it. You are still breathing. Your heart is beating and you have been given a second chance. There are many things I would...

My Story Isn’t Over: Project Semicolon

My Story Isn’t Over: Project Semicolon

When I’m doing day-to-day things, it is very common for other people to ask me why I have a semicolon tattoo on my right wrist. A semicolon is defined as “a punctuation mark indicating a pause, typically between two main clauses, that is more pronounced than...

Bipolar Disorder: Defeating The Suicide Statistics

Bipolar Disorder: Defeating The Suicide Statistics

Being diagnosed with bipolar disorder was one of the most traumatic events of my life. The illness presented itself in my teens and at the time I was unaware of the possibility that my experiences had a diagnosis and that things could get better. By the time I began...

One Year

One Year

It’s been a year. My dad died by suicide on September 3, 2014, his 65th birthday. It’s taken me this long to say that out loud to more than a handful of people who didn’t already know this to be the case. I didn’t find out until September 5th which has been recorded...

September is Suicide Prevention Month

September is Suicide Prevention Month

Suicide is the tenth leading cause of death in the U.S. and third among young people.  I first had suicidal thoughts when I was nineteen and in college.  I thought I would kill myself by cutting my wrists, but I couldn’t cut deep enough and once I started...

After My Suicide Attempt

After My Suicide Attempt

There are a lot of things about suicide that aren’t talked about. The thing that comes to mind for me, having survived a suicide attempt early this year, is what happens when you survive. Once you get out of the hospital, you will probably be happy to have your...

My Experience with Psychotic Depression: Part 2

My Experience with Psychotic Depression: Part 2

In my last blog post ‘My Experience with Psychotic Depression: Part 1’, I wrote about how I became suicidally depressed and psychotic, which lead to a hospitalisation. In this post I will write about the changing point of my depression and how I got better. I was...

Speak Up

Speak Up

I would like to introduce myself by talking about something that happened last week in my hometown. A teacher committed suicide in her classroom by hanging herself.  After reading the news article, I noticed a trend in the comments section. A lot of people were...

Surviving Suicide

Surviving Suicide

 March is always a hard month for me and my family because of the anniversary of my brother’s death. This year on March 16th, it is the 10th year since he took his life. He suffered from bipolar disorder and passed away when he was only 25 years old. He died...

Bipolar Depression and Suicide

Bipolar Depression and Suicide

Melancholy It’s winter.I knew you’d be knocking at my door soon.Your familiar spirit–always unwelcomed–but persistent. She asked me “What are you depressed about?”I wanted to shout “About the serotonin depletion,The change in weather that makes...

Why I’m Grateful For Being On the Psych Ward

Why I’m Grateful For Being On the Psych Ward

In the beginning I thought that it would kill me, my personality, and my future. But after a few weeks I’m hugely grateful for this experience. I got there because I wanted to attempt suicide. I’ve had a few suicide attempts before but this one was extremely...

Loneliness

Loneliness

The days following my dad’s death by suicide were the loneliest of my life.  In a roomful of people, in the midst of a hug, in the middle of a conversation, the resounding thought I had was that I was alone. No one had the relationship I did with my dad, no one...

I Choose Life

I Choose Life

I am just going to come out and say it.  I, Nanieve, am relieved that I can finally rip down the gaudy Christmas baubles, fold up the tree, and wipe the stupid but, expected cheerful grin off my face. To me, the festive season feels unbearably stressful....

Life Preserver

Life Preserver

The American Foundation for Suicide Prevention’s (AFSP) logo is a life preserver. I think the idea is that the organization brings people together who want to preserve life and prevent suicide. For those of us who have tried to help a loved one who has to navigate...

The Importance that International Survivors of Suicide Loss Day Should Have on the World

The Importance that International Survivors of Suicide Loss Day Should Have on the World

November 22, 2014 is International Survivors of Suicide Loss Day, a day that much of society most likely does not know anything about. The American Foundation of Suicide Prevention (AFSP) in recognition of a resolution that Senator Harry Reid introduced to the senate,...

Out of the Dark

Out of the Dark

Mental Health Awareness Week occurred from October 5-11 and on October 11 I participated in one of the American Foundation for Suicide Prevention’s ‘Out of the Darkness Walks’ in Northern California. I was planning to go alone because I had attempted to persuade...

Genie, You’re Free

Suicide has been in the media a lot over the last little while due to the very sad passing of Robin Williams. As such a public figure, his death has started a broader conversation about suicide. I do not know his circumstances and so I will not dwell on what lead Mr....

Silent Killer of the Greats: How to Honor Robin Williams

The day Robin Williams passed away my husband woke me up from an impromptu nap. I had a rough day and I was very tired. The first words I heard from my nap were “Robin Williams passed away”. How? “Apparent suicide” he replied. Now I don’t normally get emotional...

My Reaction to the News about Robin Williams

       I write this entry in my blog with a very heavy heart, as I mourn with the rest of the world over the tragic news of Robin Williams passing. A brilliant man, in every sense of the word, an amazing actor, a Talented Comedian, a man who shared...

Importance of Hospitalization

     I hope my readers are taking it day by day. Remember don’t ever let the light inside of you dim. This month’s topic I’m going to address is ”Why hospitalization is so important and what important and positive role does it play in a person’s...

I’m not Just Surviving, I’m living with Hope

        Good afternoon readers, I hope this entry finds you fighting to keep going. Because I truly believe with all my heart every precious life has such Value in this world, and I want to offer you as much encouragement as I...

Awareness through the Eyes of Van Gogh

We all know the importance of mental health awareness, and doing our part of erasing the stigma that still surrounds Disorders like Bipolar. As March 30th approaches which is World Bipolar Day, it’s also Van Gogh’s birthday who is a well known Dutch impressionist...

Pets and Bipolar Disorder

Do you have pets? I do. I have two. One is a feisty little lovebird with a big attitude. His name is Chicklet. This picture is of my other pet. Her name is Maggie. She is my 8 month old puppy. I got her when she was 14 weeks old. She’s wonderful, cute, the new love of...

Suicide Awareness Day

Suicide Awareness Day

DISCLOSURESTOP and read the following clearly. This article may be troubling to somebody thinking about suicide. This article is about personal and factual experiences regarding suicide. Please do not read if you are in a dark place and feeling suicidal. Suicide...

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