Category: Bipolar Disorder

Journal Keeping, Lists, etc.

Those of us in this war on our disorder, facing each battling day with all the challenges we face can relate to what I’m about to say. Growing up my mom always prompted me to make a list of the things I need to do for each day. My grandmother always encouraged...

Grey’s Anatomy – Teaching Hospitals and Psych Wards

An average of ten million viewers tune into Grey’s Anatomy a week, and in a recent episode we saw a glimpse into what the producers and writers of this acclaimed series think about inpatient psych treatment.Grey’s Anatomy Season 9 Episode 2:“I said no more damn...

The Agony of Accuracy

My usual reaction when I hear that a film or a book has a bipolar character is to cringe. Bipolar is a condition that evokes interest, sometimes rather prurient interest, in others and I’m very much aware how much public attitudes towards bipolar are shaped by the...

You Are Not Alone

Never let another person’s opinion of yourself be your view of yourself. Winston Churchill said, “We are still masters of our fate. We are still captains of our souls.” No one can take that away from you. Don’t be afraid to let your voice be...

When you do everything right, and things still seem wrong…

Bipolar’s an interesting diagnosis. It’s sometimes seen as enviably “cool” or “sexy” by people with more run of the mill diagnoses such as depression or anxiety. It’s serious, yet it’s nowhere near as stigmatising a diagnosis to receive as, say, schizophrenia. This is...

Support

This may not hit home with all of you, but it is whats on my mind lately. Often we hear in movies and hospital shows the common line, “science can only come so far, and then there’s God.” I don’t know about the rest of you, but I put a lot of...

Depression and the Plot of Your Life

Sometimes you’re not depressed, you’re just not happy. And given the world we live in with stress, and the realities of the plot of our lives, it’s hard to decipher the difference between chemical depression and self-inflicted depression.How do you know if you are...

Mental Illness and Dementia Link – Is there cause for concern?

I have Bipolar Disorder, Social Anxiety Disorder, Depression, Panic Disorder, General Anxiety Disorder, PTSD, and a slew of other medical issues not related to psychology. However, I have become concerned about developing Alzheimer’s disease or Dementia as I grow...

I Love You, but I Hate Myself

I used to believe in the saying “you can’t really love someone until you love yourself”. I used to also believe in the idea “coping skills are productive if they help you deal with a life situation”. Well, at age 27, I can definitely say I don’t believe in either...

Remembering my first time…

I have a hard time truly disclosing to anyone how I am doing on the inside. Mood charts were very vague for me and the more I got used to the typical mood rating conversation, the easier it was to not disclose my thoughts and feelings, especially if I wasn’t directly...

What was going on when we were first diagnosed?

What was going on when you were first diagnosed? Do you remember your symptoms? Do you remember where you were and what happened? Why or how you ended up seeing a Doctor or Psychiatrist? Was your family involved? Or were you alone?I first noticed that I saw the robins...

Recovery- Is that word allowed?

Bipolar and Recovery. Two words that don’t normally go together in many circles. But, new research has determined that “recovery” is attainable for those with Bipolar and possibly other mental illnesses.What does it take? Is there a magic pill? Why haven’t we heard of...

Mental Illness Can Damage The Brain…

 “Mental Illness can damage the brain. You can’t just wait for it to go away. The longer you wait to get treatment, the worse it will get and the greater chance that prescription drugs won’t work.” That is a direct quote from a June 2012 Readers...

Depression & Clothes

Depression & Clothes

I went to an all girls catholic high school, which means one thing: uniforms. I loved uniforms. I may have been the only person in my class who actually liked wearing the same shirt and skirt every day.On the weekends I was faced with my real clothes. I would go to...

The Importance of Strong Toes

The Importance of Strong Toes

My baby is almost a year old now and I’m still unstable. This statement confuses my family and friends because on the outside, I seem like myself again – I shower and wear make-up on a regular basis, my sense of humor is back and I’ve gone back to work. I’m...

Unsupervised Trips to Publix

Some people may not have the privilege of having a spouse like I do to balance my tendencies to over spend, particularly on gourmet cooking. I started a blog with a friend of mine called Dinner Bromantic. We get together weekly to make some delicious food. We have...

The Tipping Point

Last Tuesday, I was telling my friend Anna that generally speaking, I am quite self-aware when it comes to my bipolar moods. I have never been able to understand it when people say things like, “I was depressed, but I didn’t even know it”, because I am so acutely...

My freshman year of college… Can I have a redo please?

It is August, and around this time for the last 9 years, I think back to 2002 and getting ready to start my freshman year of college in a new state, new town, and not knowing a single soul. Little did I know how life changing or should I say life altering and an...

Is a new beginning really possible?

In 2003, I was diagnosed with bipolar I disorder, a few months after my 18th birthday. I had many other diagnoses during the early years of my diagnosis including depression, generalized anxiety disorder, borderline personality disorder, and bulimia. In 2011, I...

Single Parent

 Being a parent is hard. Let’s face it, there is no instruction manual. Goodness knows we’re all going to make our share of mistakes. It’s just a part of life. As hard as parenting is, usually you have a partner to help you thru the tough times. It’s even harder...

Tacos!

I’ve never been suicidal but have certainly acted suicidal. It’s part of my disease. It’s kinda ridiculous when I break it down. My thought process is somewhat funny to me. I think to myself, I have wayyy to much to offer in this lifetime and so much to do so how can...

Why I Stopped Drinking

It’s been 31 days since my last drink. Our doctors tell us not to drink. Even Lil’ Wayne raps in his special guest appearance on the Weezer song “Can’t Stop Partying” – “..party like tomorrow is my funeral, gotta stop mixing...

Dreams

Dreams

This one is for any of you who have been hospitalized. Have any of you ever had the dream of being either back in the hospital or having the dream of family members threaten to admit you? This dream would occur for me more frequently when I drank alcohol. I steer...

Stigma

My family has always been very supportive and had my best interests in mind. Only my best friends know that I have bipolar disorder. When it comes to stigma, ever since I got out of the hospital in 9th grade I thought there was something wrong with me. My stepmom...

You’re Bipolar? Welcome to High School

I’ve always been open about being bipolar. Except at work. And now I know why.Last year I published a tell all book about my journey of manic depression and my experiences working in an inpatient psych ward in a county hospital in Los Angeles, CA. When the county...

Nocturnal?

I hate everything about mornings. Especially the waking up part. Also not a fan of birds chirping. Or sunshine. I’m not sure why I’m this way. I just tend to perk up at night, say around 7 p.m. That’s when I usually get a burst of energy and the desire to do...

Today I’m feeling better….

I went to my psychiatrist Friday for a follow-up from my initial visit a month ago. I’d had high hopes with the Wellbutrin/anxiety pill prescription combo. I felt better…happy…for a couple weeks. Then, depression set in. Like the can’t-get-out-of-bed variety. It...

The Side Effects of Side Effects

“I’d rather been skinny and crazy than fat and sane.”And that is no joke. We talk about side effects of our medications but what about the side effects we get from the side effects of your medication. I’m talking about fat. Yup. A woman’s favorite word to hate:F A...

My Life Since Coming Out of the Closet or How Facebook Saved My Life

Idk why, but I’m feeling the need to out myself & what better place than fb? I’m bipolar 1 & am having postpartum MANIA. I was so scared of ppd that I never even thought of this side. I’m in solution – my team is observing me – I...

Clarifications

On April 14th 2011, Catherine Zeta Jones came out to the world thatshe suffered from Bipolar II Disorder. Merely a year later, on June15, 2012, Jones made an appearance on ABC’s The View and Joy Beharinquired about her experience of Bipolar Disorder. Zeta...

Insomnia

Insomnia….oh that blasted, dreaded word but there you have it what’s keeping others, like me, awake at night. So what is insomnia, what does it mean exactly? In layman’s terms…. You can’t sleep. More officially it means….the difficulty initiating or maintaining sleep,...

New Psychiatrist

I saw a new psychiatrist recently. He is wonderful. Also, I’ve been officially diagnosed as bipolar II. I suspected as much, but never had specific confirmation. I’ve been feeling much better on my new medication, so I have hope. There are still a few side effects,...

What do you do all day?

I was the first of my friends to decide to start a family. I was only 22, and most people in my social circle were a long way from settling down, let alone having a baby. They tried to be supportive during the pregnancy and in the early days of parenthood, but I could...

The Five Point Plan

I have horrible taste in men, and it’s really getting old. I’m not gonna lie. I spent most of my twenties in a sudo manic high so lost a lot of years trying to find true love. I managed to scare off most of the men in New York and Los Angeles with my intensity which...

Are you feeling the effect of side effects?

Are side effects getting you down? Almost every medication out there comes with some sort of side effect. As people with mental illness we take our share of medication on a routine basis so we are very well aware of all the different changes that can occur. With each...

The Ugliness of a Beautiful Disaster

They’re the new catch phrases, book titles, songs … They’re intriguing and explain so much with so little.Things like, “Hot Mess” or “Beautiful Disaster.” They’re contradictory yet perfectly possible in every way.Right?Can one be a “Hot Mess?”I guess so.It’s sticking...

When You’re a Stranger

‘People are strange, when you’re a stranger.Faces look ugly, when you’re alone…’So sang Jim Morrison in 1967 in his song about drug abuse and paranoia. Now, although the song is about paranoia and I have suffered seriously with it eight years ago that is not...

Pregnancy and Bipolar Disorder

To Be or Not To Be….THAT is the Question…….This year, I had several friends celebrating Mother’s Day for the very first time with their newborns. I was so happy and excited for them; starting a family and moving into the next phase of their...

Mental Health Month

 What a great idea, I thought. I’d write a blog for Mental Health week and especially for Mental Health blogging day, May 16, 2012.Then, I considered what I’d blog about. There are so many topics out there to learn more about and to give information.However, I...

Maybe It’s Just Me

Being diagnosed with bipolar disorder (I really hate the name) has caused me to have an identity crisis. How much of this is the disorder, and how much of it is “just me,” my personality? How do I know the difference? Some of the side effects could just be personality...

Bipolar Motherhood: What it Means to be “Mom Enough”

They come in threes.1. I spun out over Time Magazine’s controversial article Are You Mom Enough? extolling the virtues of attachment parenting, AKA, baby-centered parenting, which includes breastfeeding well into toddler years, co-sleeping and a strong distain for...

Mental Health Awareness Month

I would like to say how happy I am to be blogging at the International Bipolar Foundation! Happy is a very interesting word because it indicates that you’re in a good place…The International Bipolar Foundation IS such A GOOD place. Especially if you deal...

The other side of the desk.

I am one of those people who feels the need to make a difference. I hate to stand by and see others suffer. So it’s no surprise that I tend to be drawn to the kind of jobs known as “the helping professions.” Over the last 15 years, as well as...

I can’t cry anymore

In the words of Sheryl Crow, I can’t cry anymore. At least, not for now. Please. I’m exhausted. Crying is draining, although it feels strangely good at the same time. Some of it has to do with “being a girl,” but more of it has to do with other stuff – medication...

Where to begin?

Well, first, I’d like to give a shout-out to Cover Girl Lash Blast mascara. I spent a better part of today crying, and no smudging, no running, nothing! So that was a bright, shiny, silver lining. Other than that…well, one silver lining per day is better than nothing,...

Where to begin?

Well, first, I’d like to give a shout-out to Cover Girl Lash Blast mascara. I spent a better part of today crying, and no smudging, no running, nothing! So that was a bright, shiny, silver lining. Other than that…well, one silver lining per day is better than nothing,...

Patience and Friendship

Patience means…Not the ability to wait but the ability to keep a good attitude while waitingI read this recently…and here are some thoughts I have on what I am waiting for…I read this recently…and here are some thoughts I have on what I am...

Bipolar Disorder and Dreaming

Everyone dreams right? We all have wishes of what could be or what we’d like or even whom. However, dreaming when we should be sleeping is something different. And for those of us with Bipolar Disorder, dreaming can become a minefield we maneuver in our sleeping...

Super Structure

A few nights ago my wife and I were talking, as we have a want to do. It’s very rare that we will sit and watch TV together; we prefer to talk… and laugh. Anyway, as part of this conversation my wife asked, ‘Do you know what you bring to my life?’‘Trouble’ I...

Initial Diagnosis

I was diagnosed with Bipolar Disorder roughly twelve years ago. I wasn’t remotely surprised when the kindly psychiatrist told me, as I already had a good grasp of psychiatry and I had had a good idea of what was wrong with me since adolescence, I say ‘wrong’ in...

Translate »