How we define ourselves is perhaps far more important than we wish to believe and has far-reaching consequences.Many of us naturally define ourselves by our gender, religion or ethnicity, by social class, occupation or educational attainments. Others find the roles...
Bipolar disorder has been such a shameful and an incredibly misunderstood place for me. Full of false guilt, embarrassment and regret. Confusion, anger and sadness. And plenty of hurt. Until three weeks ago, it’s been my dark little secret for almost eleven years.I...
I’ve been thinking a lot about my adolescence lately. This is partly because I’m continuing to delve into my past as I work on my memoir, and partly because both my children are now at ages at which I was battling bipolar pretty much single-handedly. It’s also...
I was sitting around the other day thinking about how long it has been since I was diagnosed with bipolar disorder at the age of 18 and all that has happened since then. It’s quite interesting because I seem to remember my first inpatient stay still so vividly, but I...
Someone commented on the Scott Inside Out facebook page (https://www.facebook.com/scottinsideout2) a while ago that they’d like to know how to “stop the slide”. This is an excellent question! It refers the ability to stop from getting depressed when things are going...
I don’t know about you but I have a serious problem, writing Angry. Doesn’t sound that bad right? Well for someone like me, a professed writer (blogger), it can be. It can put your life/career/hobby on hold for an extended amount of time. It can cause writers block....
I have the handprints in a frame. I have the popsicle jewelry box. I even have the photo calendar. What I don’t have is my older son. But I can’t have him. Not this year. For those of you who haven’t been following my story, the short version is...
Even though I was diagnosed as bipolar in the year 2000, it was something that I felt too embarrassed to talk about until fairly recently. It’s only in the past few years that I’ve been comfortable telling people besides family about my bipolar diagnosis. In my...
On the Scott Inside Out – Natural Mental wellness facebook page last week, I asked what tips people would like to learn about in terms of bipolar disorder. And also what would give them the most value. Someone responded by wanting to know how...
I apologize for my lack of posts for the past month. My professors have a tendency to pack all the exams at the beginning of the month and then I lose track of the times I need to submit entries in. On the brighter side, I am four weeks away from graduation.May...
I had been expecting the call. Finally, two and a half weeks ago it came. Not that I wanted it to come, but it didn’t surprise me. Over the last couple years, I’ve expected it. And dreaded it too.When I first heard the news, I was remarkably calm. All...
Happy pills, I’ve got those happy pills…Recently I was fortunate enough to be interviewed by Philippa Willetts, a blogger and tweeter who has just launched a new podcast called Converge. Philippa plans to use podcasts to look at various forms of activism and, as a...
The hardest part of living with a mental illness is the stigma that is in the world today. This unfortunate attitude makes living with these health issues so much worse than it needs to be. It creates feelings of shame, inferiority, failure and brokenness for the...
Okay, I admit it. Worrying comes natural for me. In fact I will actually admit that at times I am addicted to worrying. As I progressed from parenthood to grandparenthood my worrying accelerated. When my babies laed cuddled in the warmth of blankets, I worried that...
A stigma can be associated with the actual truth or ones ridiculous notion. Whether true or false, it has been my experience that they are (more often than not) unflattering or downright degrading. To be fair, there are moments of ignorance towards the subject. I do...
Many people may incorrectly assume that all Bipolar sufferers have the same kind of symptoms or that there is some kind of “one size fits all” perspective to the illness. This is in part due to the many misconceptions that surround the condition and cloud people’s...
Although I put family and my beloved spouse in a different place, I was just thinking of all my varied friendships so I thought I would comment on them and show how a bipolar lifestyle works in:Being a good Catholic boy, serving on the altar until eighteen, I looked...
This issue is close to heart. Mental illness/Bipolar vs. pregnancy. To conceive or not conceive? The odds of having a child also with a mental illness? What are the medication risks? Because of so many facts that go into these issues, and I could write for days, I...
Those of us who have battled Bipolar II long enough know the signs of hypomania. And since a hypomanic episode happens so rarely compared with depression, when one does occur, it feels like receiving a beautifully gift-wrapped present. We unwrap it with...
When I saw Britney Spears on the news on a gurney with paramedics, sirens blaring, a team of policemen, two helicopters, chaos, and a lot of paparazzi and she was placed on a 5150 my heart was breaking and tears filled my eyes. I said to myself, Oh my God! Even a pop...
This is the third article in, what’s turned out to be, a series on How Bipolar Disorder has Been Changed for Me. If you haven’t read the first two they are:1. How Journaling has Changed Bipolar Disorder for Me2. How Food has Changed Bipolar Disorder for MeJournaling...
I’m so tearful. I’m embarrassed sitting here at the gate waiting for a plane that will take me away.I cannot even begin thinking, much less speaking, about returning to SO MUCH UNCERTAINTY…without eyes brimming and overflowing. People sitting around...
The Mayans made a prediction about tomorrow 12.21.12. They claim this will be the “end of time”. This is being interpreted as being the end of the world, or perhaps the end of the world as we know it. My question is, is this really a bad thing? Think about...
An untreated mental illness can be difficult for not only the person who is suffering from the illness but also for the people who come into contact with the person, most commonly the people closest to the person. On the rare occasion a mental illness that a person is...
2012 had been a rough year for me physically and mentally. I was in the hospital for psychiatric evaluation at least four times. I had a couple of endoscopes, a hospitalization for my back and even a couple of back procedures including a radio frequency ablation on my...
A mixed episode my latest road-trip from one pole to the other with road foodFor extra fun these last three days–I’ve been experiencing symptoms of a mixed episode. I am wildly rosy and ready to take charge…and simultaneously weeping uncontrollably....
Reading of your recent diagnosis, I was struck by how my story parallels yours in many ways. From the outside, we both appeared to have it all: successful careers, happy marriages, and hopes and dreams for the future. Behind the façade, however, few people grasped how...
I was diagnosed with bipolar disorder a few months after turning 18 years old in 2003. While that seems so long ago, one would think 10 years is enough time to figure out how to perfectly manage my illness and life. The truth of the matter is, I am still learning and...
The latest that has been going on with me is the tumultuous depression that has spiked in my life due to our (my husband and myself) living situation. I am thirty-one years old. My husband is twenty-eight. We are living in the basement of my parents’ home. This...
Controlling our Bipolar Disorder is a full time job, even during the good times. We have meds, psychotherapy, and other standard treatments. However, have you considered food as a form of treatment? I’ve discovered there are certain foods that help me keep the...
Relapse is both a fear and a loitering thought in the minds of many recovering from any illness or disease. I know for me personally, I always feared relapse of my bipolar disorder and my self-injury. The longer I went doing well; the fear joined the loitering thought...
“Don’t you dare, for one second, surround yourself with people who are not aware of the greatness that you are.”- Jo Blackwell-PrestonI knew there was a problem when this quote made me cry.. . .My friends and family knew I was bipolar. They knew...
In my first post I mentioned that there was a time when my mental health was in rapid decline. It was at this point when I realized that I had to change something before it was too late. But what? And, how? I didn’t know the answers. I needed some information....
“No one knows about a swing better than someone who has Bipolar Disorder.Mood swings are the major part of my life. I’m either on my way up. Up. On my way down. Down. Or I’m “stable” waiting and not knowing if my next swing will be up or down.I’ve experienced...
An average of ten million viewers tune into Grey’s Anatomy a week, and in a recent episode we saw a glimpse into what the producers and writers of this acclaimed series think about inpatient psych treatment.Grey’s Anatomy Season 9 Episode 2:“I said no more damn...
My usual reaction when I hear that a film or a book has a bipolar character is to cringe. Bipolar is a condition that evokes interest, sometimes rather prurient interest, in others and I’m very much aware how much public attitudes towards bipolar are shaped by the...
Sometimes you’re not depressed, you’re just not happy. And given the world we live in with stress, and the realities of the plot of our lives, it’s hard to decipher the difference between chemical depression and self-inflicted depression.How do you know if you are...
Bipolar and Recovery. Two words that don’t normally go together in many circles. But, new research has determined that “recovery” is attainable for those with Bipolar and possibly other mental illnesses.What does it take? Is there a magic pill? Why haven’t we heard of...
Mental Illness can damage the brain. You can’t just wait for it to go away. The longer you wait to get treatment, the worse it will get and the greater chance that prescription drugs won’t work. That is a direct quote from a June 2012 Readers...
My baby is almost a year old now and I’m still unstable. This statement confuses my family and friends because on the outside, I seem like myself again – I shower and wear make-up on a regular basis, my sense of humor is back and I’ve gone back to work. I’m...
When I entered into the world of Bipolar Advocacy, I never really understood what that meant for me or my future. Sure, I had dreams, but they were much happier than what my life sometimes turns out to be.I’m bipolar, I have bipolar, I struggle with bipolar, I suffer...
Last Tuesday, I was telling my friend Anna that generally speaking, I am quite self-aware when it comes to my bipolar moods. I have never been able to understand it when people say things like, “I was depressed, but I didn’t even know it”, because I am so acutely...
I’ve never been suicidal but have certainly acted suicidal. It’s part of my disease. It’s kinda ridiculous when I break it down. My thought process is somewhat funny to me. I think to myself, I have wayyy to much to offer in this lifetime and so much to do so how can...
I just cancelled my appointment with my psychiatrist this week cause I just don’t feel like it. But I never feel like it, for the most part dread it, and the sad thing is after it’s done I feel great. Well, most of the time. To be honest, I haven’t always been that...
On April 14th 2011, Catherine Zeta Jones came out to the world thatshe suffered from Bipolar II Disorder. Merely a year later, on June15, 2012, Jones made an appearance on ABC’s The View and Joy Beharinquired about her experience of Bipolar Disorder. Zeta...
Insomnia….oh that blasted, dreaded word but there you have it what’s keeping others, like me, awake at night. So what is insomnia, what does it mean exactly? In layman’s terms…. You can’t sleep. More officially it means….the difficulty initiating or maintaining sleep,...
I saw a new psychiatrist recently. He is wonderful. Also, I’ve been officially diagnosed as bipolar II. I suspected as much, but never had specific confirmation. I’ve been feeling much better on my new medication, so I have hope. There are still a few side effects,...
I was the first of my friends to decide to start a family. I was only 22, and most people in my social circle were a long way from settling down, let alone having a baby. They tried to be supportive during the pregnancy and in the early days of parenthood, but I could...
I have horrible taste in men, and it’s really getting old. I’m not gonna lie. I spent most of my twenties in a sudo manic high so lost a lot of years trying to find true love. I managed to scare off most of the men in New York and Los Angeles with my intensity which...
Are side effects getting you down? Almost every medication out there comes with some sort of side effect. As people with mental illness we take our share of medication on a routine basis so we are very well aware of all the different changes that can occur. With each...
