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When Others Don't Seem To Care

February 19, 2015
“YOU DON’T CARE!” I shouted this at my mother the other day… and it was hurtful on so many levels. Because when I calmed down and thought about it, she DID care… in many other ways. In the vein of Gary Chapman’s Five Love Languages, I want to thank my mum for loving me in these ways: -TIME: She took time from her busy schedule...
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Group Therapy Provides Hope

February 12, 2015
I recently joined a bipolar support group. My doctor and therapist have been encouraging me for months to join the group. They believed it would help me "normalize" some of my feelings by being around others who might have the same experiences. I put off going to the group because 1) I was either too sick (manic or depressed) to feel like...
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In a previous blog, I referred to my Bipolar and PTSD as my dragon, something only I can tame and ride. When you are labeled with a mental illness, the stigma associated with it can become debilitating.  It is as if you somehow become weaker by association, somehow less of a responsible, independent adult. I found that all those...
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Why Recovery is Possible

February 10, 2015
I recently read an article written by a person who is tired of people like me talking about recovery from psychiatric disorders.  She wanted us to “stop talking about recovery and start using a more useful and less stigmatizing word: hope.”  I am not sure what she wants us to have hope of.  Stabilization?  Maintenance?  ...
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Everyday Hero

February 5, 2015
I’ve noticed that after I wrote my last post about why I’m grateful about being on the psych ward some opinions were unflattering. I understand that for some people it may have looked like those three weeks of hospitalization were three weeks of holiday. Not for me unfortunately. I’m the only one who knows how bad things were at that time....
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For many of us who have had bipolar disorder for several years, we may need to undergo a medication change for various reasons.  When you are taking medications over the long term, they may stop working as well as they did initially.  Or a new drug might come out with less side effects and a promise of higher quality of life. I am...
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Support

February 4, 2015
As we go through our journey with our disorder, we need support. Whether it's from family, friends, or a higher power, it is essential that we have someone that will always have our backs. We can't do this alone. I'm forever grateful for my God, my husband, and my Mom. All of them show me support on a daily basis. As soon as I found out that...
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Benefits of Having a Label

February 4, 2015
January 28, 2015 was Bell Let’s Talk Day in Canada.  It’s an initiative by a major company to get more people talking about mental health.  The intention is to reduce stigma and raise awareness.  Bell donated five cents towards mental health programs for every social media share, text, tweet, or call made on that day.  It’s...
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Melancholy It’s winter.I knew you’d be knocking at my door soon.Your familiar spirit--always unwelcomed--but persistent. She asked me “What are you depressed about?”I wanted to shout “About the serotonin depletion,The change in weather that makes my synapses misfire,My unrelenting neurochemistry is why!” But, instead, I cite the job...
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('Changes' song lyric sample from David Bowie, album "Hunky Dory" 1971)When the seasons change, I often have a bipolar relapse, one that starts small, like a snowball, gathering speed and size as it rolls down the hill, exploding on the impact of hitting bottom! Boom! On September 24 this fall I had to admit, as anhedonia and thoughts of throwing...
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I recently watched a documentary called “Titanic’s Final Mystery.” It put forth a new theory that, due to unusual weather conditions on the night of the Titanic tragedy, there was a mirage that prevented the ship’s lookouts from seeing the infamous iceberg. It’s an interesting theory, though there’s debate as to whether it’s true. But the bottom...
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In the beginning I thought that it would kill me, my personality, and my future. But after a few weeks I’m hugely grateful for this experience. I got there because I wanted to attempt suicide. I’ve had a few suicide attempts before but this one was extremely dangerous and real. And so sudden and unexpected. So when my feet touched the ground...
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