When I think about involuntary hospitalization, I feel vaguely violated. It was sudden, and it wasn’t my choice. I was deceived before the police showed up and slapped on the handcuffs. It was personal and not. It hurt, bewildered and shocked me. Terrifying? For...
This is the third article in a 3-part series. The author recommends reading the first article and second article before reading this one. Bipolar disorder is a big, hairy beast of an illness. It can be intimidating, scary, and unpredictable. But by using...
So, as you know if you read my other blog, I am triggered very harshly by the sounds of chewing (even if it’s quiet)! My fiancé and I turn on the television when we eat together to drown out the chewing noises so I don’t become manic. Today, the...
It’s amazing to me to think that on November 1st of this year my ex-husband and I will have been split for 9 yrs. I think about the person I was back then and it terrifies me. I was so unstable, unsure of myself and had no direction in life. I was in a dark hole...
I sometimes wonder how and why many people who have bipolar disorder feel and become creative. I know, for example, when I am in mania I become far more into writing, descriptions, and reading book after book. I crave to live outside my life most of the time, but...
Quite a while ago I was told that during spring and summer I would most likely be controlling underlying mania and during winter I would be fighting depression. This is because medication doesn’t work very well for me, my moods are very seasonal and I have the type of...
In the past week I had an in-depth conversation about bipolar disorder with a friend of mine who knows very little about it. I appreciated her honesty and being open to learn about something that has been a big part of my life. One question that she asked me really...
I woke up sad and nervous before drug treatment court this morning. My friend, Cee, was going to be held today in county jail until a bed opened up at a nearby drug treatment facility: she kept failing drug screens and this was her consequence. It would be meted...
Recently a friend asked me what to do about someone that he suspects has bipolar. It was not someone I knew and as he was back in his home country, I could only give some pointers over Facebook message. Firstly, I asked him to read up about the condition,...
After six days in the psychiatric hospital, I was taken to the intensive care unit because I had thought of a way I could kill myself in the hospital. There wasn’t much freedom in the regular unit, but there was even less in ICU. We were only allowed...
All I have is a doctor or two, some friends, a bottle of pills, and a big mouth. These all serve as strategies to cope when I’m feeling especially hypomanic or depressed. I’m not the most strategic person in the world, but these few little “mental illness...
through the depression. I felt, without a body, something in agony or maybe a body without a soul, stiff and too heavy to pull from the bed. Yes – an obese body, my own flesh and grief, too heavy for my body to lift. There...
I made fake social networking profiles, lied about boyfriends, and of course thrived in the many fantasy worlds I had invented when I was really sick. For the longest time I believed I was destined to be someone other than the person that was living with my flesh and...
IBPF recently did a lecture about families and bipolar disorder that featured both consumers and caregivers there was someone living with bipolar disorder, their parent, and their sibling. Now, I thought that was an amazing idea because I have five siblings. Yup!...
There has been an increased interest in the judicial system among advocates for people living with mental illness: Human Rights Watch shocked America with the truth. A 127-pageinvestigative report describes a criminal justice system in America and its use of...
“I didn’t think I’d make it this far.” This thought has been a constant on the minds of many, at least at one time or another. It is a blatant cry of lost hope, but the courageous steps of something to look forward to. It’s all about finding that ‘one thing’ that...
I was diagnosed with bipolar disorder six years ago. I’ve made a full recovery, but it hasn’t all been peaceful. I still have my ups and downs. Case in point, the week before last I had a panic attack before work. I had been so busy taking care of family members that...
In the LGBT community, the link between mental illness most notably bipolar disorder, trauma and addiction is undeniable. With heightened visibility comes the need to strengthen the clinical skills required to work alongside this stigmatized population. This...
This essay won 3rd Place in our 2015 Essay Contest and was written by Robert Ye, a high school student in Chappaqua, New York, USA. Widely regarded as one of the greatest leaders of the 20th century, Winston Churchill is believed to have suffered from bipolar...
This essay won 2nd Place in our 2015 Essay Contest and was written by Hosana Tagomori, a high school student in Bangkok, Thailand. More often than not, the media portrays characters with mental illness as incomprehensible, tortured, and convoluted. However, the...
This essay won 1st Place in our 2015 Essay Contest and was written by Jake McCann, a high school student in Scottsdale, AZ, USA. Winston Churchill was one of the most influential and inspiring figures of the 20th century. He served twice as First Lord of the...
I have Bipolar Disorder. That’s not unusual. I also have fibromyalgia. Having both of these diseases makes my life very hard to deal with sometimes, but somehow I always manage. It takes a lot of endurance and I deal with a lot of pain, but I pull through...
Parenting isn’t easy. Anyone who’s ever parented, or has even just been parented well knows that. Don’t they say, “It takes a village to raise a child”? As if to say raising children well takes more than just one person, it takes a community, right? Let’s...
I’m sitting here at my desk reflecting on what I want to write about. The thought that keeps coming back to my mind is the importance of awareness. How can we use our inner turmoil and pain to inspire others? My story of depression is a long and drawn out one, one...
Grab a journal. This will become an essential. 1. Learn the basics. Know what Bipolar Disorder is, and the symptoms of mania and depressive episodes. Write Mania on one side and Depressive on the other. Write all of the symptoms down, even if you havent...
Editor’s Note: This was orginally a book and has been converted to a blog. Each paragraph was a different page in the book. Dedication: This book is dedicated to my dad. My dad has a daily struggle with his mental illnesses. But, he pushes through it, and...
I had been out of work for five years and then four months ago, I began working part time. The job completely drained me and so I quit Thursday a week ago. I couldn’t believe how relieved I was afterwards. Then Friday came; I began second-guessing myself...
I used to think “I hate being depressed, anxious or worried. Why should I want to share my weakness with others? It would be like sharing my dirty laundry.” Nowadays I think “When I feel depressed, anxious or worried, I know that if I share my...
Paradoxically, I’ve found newfound perspectives of patience, humor, and focus borne of depression itself that have strengthened my resolve to survive and recover. I’m hoping that through this blog, you can grab onto a positive idea to bridge whatever mental...
I was once a compulsive liar and it is something that changed people’s perceptions about me. I am not a compulsive liar anymore, but I can tell when my parents, my sister, my friends, and even my doctors question whether what I tell them is true. Some of us struggle...
What Tools Do You Consistently Use to Effectively Manage Your Bipolar Disorder? The intention of this post is to get people sharing what works for them. And for those who are not as far along in their path to mental stability and wellness, it can serve as...
Last month I participated in a Crisis Intervention Training (CIT) with local law enforcement. These officers, dispatchers, and prison guards were learning how to improve their interactions with people who have mental illness. It is a week-long training put on by...
When you are diagnosed with bipolar disorder, it’s obvious that not only have you been going through a lot, but you’ll have a long road ahead when it comes to recovery. That’s tough enough as it is, but what about if you’re married? Your spouse has most likely gone...
1. Myth: Bipolar means mood swings, like we all get. Fact: The frequency and intensity of the characteristic behavior are the basic differences between a trait of someone with or without a mental illness. The mood swings associated with bipolar disorder are very...
I’ve always thought that if you have a shared experience, you will be more understanding and compassionate to those around you. Yet lately I find myself giving out a double standard. Especially when it comes to employment. I have many people in my life who live...
‘It feels like a long way down.’ Yes it certainly does. The crashing fall from the highest peaks of manic elation to the deepest depths of despairing depression is devastating. My mood swings are like clockwork and for the past few years I would become gradually...
When I envisioned myself at 24 I always thought I would be a huge success. I would be on the front page of fortune magazine, I would have a nice car, a nice house, nice family and nice job. I assumed I’d be out of the house and on my own. I’d be working a career I...
What does someone with bipolar disorder tend to look like? Are they blonde, have curly hair? Do they talk differently or walk slighter faster than the average person? Much of the time you can’t tell by just merely looking at someone’s outer...
“Its not you, but…”I recently had this said to me by three people that I care about in the context of them asking to have some time by themselves to figure out their issues. I was able to give space much more easily for two of them compared to...
The first time I truly got depressed was when I was 20 years old and the guy I was involved with told me that although he really liked me, he was still in love (with his ex-girlfriend). It was downhill from there. Failed relationship after failed relationship. More...
During my bouts with depression I found it nearly impossible to feel grateful. I made lists of things I should be grateful for but the feeling of gratitude didn’t reach my heart. It was a miserable way to live since true gratitude brings me a deep,...
Disclaimer: the purpose of this blog is not to discourage you from taking meds, but to be informed about the meds you take and to be open with your doctor about the side effects you experience. I haven’t always been full of self-confidence or high self-esteem....
I’ve recently been discharged from a psychiatric clinic for a depression episode. I’ve been writing and thinking a lot about my current state as well as my experiences within the clinic, but mainly what I want in my life. This piece touches on my state of mind...
Six weeks ago I relapsed from my addiction recovery and, subsequently, from my Bipolar Disorder recovery. The two are so intertwined that a distinction can barely be made by me or my mental health team. When I use substances I also quit taking my medications....
We all have scars, scars from our past, scars from pain. We’re all on a journey, a journey we did not choose. Some of those scars are emotional scars, while others are on the outside. Our scars tell our stories. They reveal what we have been through and where we have...
A few months ago my mood tipped the scales into hypomania, dangerously verging on mania. This is an issue for me because once hypomanic I very quickly become chaotically manic. Fortunately I wasn’t bad enough to lose all insight and didn’t stop taking my medication...
I have been relatively stable for almost six months now. For me, that’s huge. I still have small bouts of depression here and there or times where my anxiety spikes and my thoughts race, but so far it’s all been manageable. So, why then, do I feel so...
“Music washes away from the soul, the dust of everyday life”- Berthold AuerbachGrowing up, music was a big part of my household. Not that any of us played musical instruments but just, enjoying it. Dancing around the house. Singing at the top of our lungs....
Psychiatric disorders can cause a multitude of problems that would be very difficult for a person without a psychiatric disorder to deal with. If you have a psychiatric disorder, it is even worse. I have a friend who like me has bipolar disorder and...
Do you ever feel like while you’re having a mood swing that you are trying to say something but it’s just coming out wrong? Back when I had my horrible mood swings I always felt like there was something that I was trying to say, but it wasn’t coming out...
