This week my old friend really wanted to meet up with me. I just had a very deep depression episode and now Im trying to go back to society. Im looking for a new job, doing things which I used to love and doing as much as possible to feel good. And stay out of...
I do sometimes wonder whether to share my emotions with my partner. On the one hand, he wants to know my thoughts and feelings – there would be no real intimacy in a relationship if we didn’t share on a deeper level. On the other hand, being open does put me in a...
When I think of myself 10 years ago, I am embarrassed and quite frankly shocked at how judgmental I was towards others who were different than me. Ten years ago my mood fluctuations became unmanageable and anxiety and depression left me paralyzed. I resisted as long...
Over the years of dealing with bipolar, I’ve had to learn a lot on how to manage this disease and not let it get the best of me. Stress in life is evitable; those who work face it from their bosses. We face it from our families, balancing the many responsibilities we...
I was diagnosed with Bipolar Disorder over ten years ago. At the time, I wasn’t aware of any genetic component as I was an adopted child. Within my adopted family, there was a high incidence of alcoholism on my maternal mothers side, with most of her siblings having...
I was 19 when I first heard the suggestion that I was bipolar. For me, this was a liberating announcement and not a scary one. Here was an explanation for what was happening to me. The loss of control over my emotions, and progressively my actions, was now explainable...
.and then unexpectedly there’s calm, all I thought I knew about myself and the World becomes the fleeting thoughts of Man under siege from his own mind. The storm has passed for now. I have spent the better part of 3 years researching aspects of my...
I read a study once that stated the incidence of obsessive-compulsive disorder was 10-fold greater in bipolar patients than the general population (see more at: http://www.psychiatrictimes.com/bipolar-disorder/anxious-bipolar-patient#sthash.RRY1nBjh.dpuf). This made...
As Im sure you noticed, Im using a grammatically incorrect title, but I couldnt resist. (May my seventh grade English grammar teacher forgive me!) During the 1980’s a trendy Nike ad campaign caught the world’s attention with the tagline...
Even before I knew I had bipolar disorder, I have always loved art. I used to spend my afternoons in high school (I was unschooled) wandering around the Carnegie Museum of Art in Pittsburgh, where I grew up. Since moving to Saint Louis for college, I have spent many...
I want to talk to you all about something that I experienced very intensely when I first started taking medication. What happened was I felt a very strong dull feeling inside. I was no longer feeling the lows, but I was also no longer feeling the highs either. So, I...
As a counselor with a background in vocational rehabilitation, Im a big believer in meaningful work for people with mental health disabilities the research shows its an effective path toward recovery, and Ive seen this firsthand over and over. In my last post, I...
I woke up on Thursday, September 4th and the torture struck instantly. My head filled up like a water balloon, except it wasn’t water I was filled with, it was disturbing, bizarre, negative and pesky thoughts. I recognized immediately from waking up I was...
Although I was officially diagnosed in March 2009 with Bipolar I disorder and began treatment, I am confident in saying that my bipolar episodes started well before that time. If I could guess somewhat accurately, I would say it all started somewhere around the...
This is part two of a three part series: Part One: Planning for a Family When You Have BipolarPart Two: From Pregnant to Mommy Part Three: Returning to Work The next thing that troubled me as my pregnancy progressed was how I was going to handle the...
I have loved writing, for as long as I can remember. I have written during many of my happiest moments in my life and of course during some of the toughest times as well. Within just the last couple of weeks, my husband’s and my world turned upside down....
Being in a relationship with someone is both rewarding and frightening. There have been times during my 9-month-old relationship that I wonder how he is able to handle the intensity of my emotions. I remember one night, after we took our night walk, I was sitting...
My name is Nanieve and my journey with Bipolar 1 Disorder started around the age of twelve. I was also diagnosed with PTSD about two years ago. I am unable to look upon it as a curse, preferring to see it as a blessing. My phoenix wings if you like, my manias...
I have been on an emotional roller coaster lately. I was feeling really anxious and depressed, so my psychiatrist upped my meds. I then felt worse. Crying every day. Crying for no reason. My parents came over one day while I was crying,...
I’ve turned to writing during many times of bipolar depression. I know that many of you are writers too. We write in blogs and in our journals. We email, take notes for classes, and once in a while, we even handwrite letters the old-fashioned...
At my last appointment with my psychiatrist, she told me I have too much anxiety about having bipolar disorder. No kidding? I mean what’s there to be anxious about? Being stuck in complete darkness with unspeakable pain that only those who have depression can...
I have had episodes of depression throughout my life and once I was so happy after taking an antidepressant that I danced around my bedroom. I didn’t realize I had a mental illness until I was 45 years old, and I didn’t know I had bipolar disorder until I was...
I’m a psychotherapist who has worked as a vocational rehabilitation counselor – that’s a specialist who helps people with disabilities, including bipolar disorder, find and keep meaningful work. I also have bipolar disorder myself, and have struggled...
What would I say to the younger me about being diagnosed with Bipolar Disorder and Anxiety Disorder? This picture was taken 13 years ago. I was 28 and oh so manic, but had no idea. This was pre-diagnosis. I traveled to two continents, several...
Its been over eight years since I was first diagnosed with mental illness. I have bipolar disorder type 1 and have been blogging about living with my condition for three years now. As a mental health advocate, people who are in the exact same place I was years ago...
A childhood friend from my old L.A. neighborhood passed away in July, the same way that my sister, D’Arcy, died: by a drug-overdose. Both my sister and Susie experienced untreated bipolar disorder-related addiction. Susie’s affluent, educated Hollywood friends did not...
I hate myself right now. I hate myself every time I’m depressed. I just started a new medication after gaining 9 pounds in a month on the previous med I tried, so I’m depressed about that on top of having general depression. Since I’m starting over...
Lately I’ve been wondering about friendship, including what I can realistically offer as a friend now. To be honest, I don’t have that much to give this summer. It has only been a year since my last hospitalization for bipolar depression. I’ve...
Last year at this time, I was soaring high with my first full-blown manic episode. I was feeling better than I’ve felt in my entire life. Colors were brighter, music sounded better, and my talents came out like never before. I had recently taken up painting and...
I’ve had episodes of depression throughout my life, but it was only seventeen years ago that I realized I had a mental illness. Up until that time, I blamed the episodes on circumstances of my life like being away from home my first time, escaping from Vietnam...
I’m here to talk to you about guilt. This is something that I felt for several years after I got help for my disorder. I couldn’t believe the things that I had said and done to both my husband and mother. I was beyond devastated. I was apologizing...
Like many or most of you, I have ideas popping into my head all the time. They range from simple things like sending a text or email to someone to just say hi, all the way to new businesses that I’d love to start up. I also have projects at home that I...
When I was a child, I always imagined myself living in the country when I was an adult. Living off the grid in a small cottage in the woods, completely self-sustainable surrounded by beautiful rolling hills and lush green fields and keeping a goat for company. As...
Every time someone suggests I read an article on having Bipolar, I discover that articles written or paraphrased by normal people always find a way to quip on how people with mental illness should adopt more normal activities in order to enjoy life. It is appalling...
Why wouldn’t I? I am a very blunt and honest person and I don’t often beat around the bush. I do not ever make excuses for who I am…to anyone. Why would I ever hide a very important part of me? I wasn’t always so forthright with my diagnosis. I have been...
It’s only a 4 letter word. It’s a terrific motivator. It determines whether or not I think life is worth living. And if it’s lacking it’s awfully hard to move on with daily tasks. Yes I am talking about hope. It’s funny how quickly...
I made a friend through The International Bipolar Foundations Facebook page this spring. I had posted a target-market question, wanting to know what people wanted, what they couldn’t find and what they hoped for in recovery. Andrea pleaded for a route to an...
Over tea, Dan recalled the young woman I had been at nineteen, long before I was diagnosed with bipolar disorder at thirty-seven. He mentioned that, sure, I seemed moody at times, but he noted that my moods didn’t swing to either extreme. While Dan isn’t a...
Allow me to introduce myself, my name is Sarah and I’m twenty-seven. As you’ve seen in my bio, I was diagnosed with bipolar disorder when I was twenty-two, but I had been struggling with it since I was twenty.Before I got married, I was seeing a doctor...
Hello, I’m Jessi. I recently came out with my diagnosis at work on a large scale, by writing an article for our hospital bulletin. The response from friends, coworkers and strangers was so positive that it led me to find the confidence to start a blog about my...
As a woman with bipolar I disorder I have experienced many major depressive episodes. During those times I’ve not only relied heavily on family, but also on friends and church leaders. As a recipient of the compassionate phrase: “I’m here if you need to talk”, I want...
When I’m high, I can fly. When I’m low, I sink into the deepest, darkest place. I keep wishing I could change this.One of my medications in particular gets me through the day. It’s actually supposed to help with anxiety, but it sort of has the...
It often feels as if my Bipolar Disorder is just one more relationship in my life; a being separate from myself but like a significant other who I speak to everyday. No one can make me mad or push my buttons quite the way my illness can, so she definitely feels like a...
In every one’s life there are moments when you feel like you will never be able to get up and live again. I had one of those moments in my life. During which I thought I was done with everyone. I had crashed hard. Harder than I ever did. It was a really bad time.It...
Therapists are useful in helping a consumer understand how one is feeling and thinking, this is also known as talk therapy. Many issues are discussed and it has been proven useful to help with stability and managing symptoms. But what do you do when you’re struggling...
Life was moving along pretty well for me—that is until bipolar disorder found its way to my door. From that point on things started to get very difficult. At first I was hit with severe manic episodes only to fall down so low I found myself knocked down...
Yoga Helps Me to Connect the DotsLast month I pulled a muscle in my neck while reaching into the backseat at a stop light for a book my son had dropped and couldn’t reach. Well I couldn’t reach it either, apparently, injuring myself pretty badly. After dealing with...
I am a doer. I dont like to sit around and watch things get done. I like to jump in with both feet and try my hardest to help out. This gets me in trouble sometimes as I end up with too much on my plate, but its just the way I am.Three years ago when I was diagnosed...
I at first didn’t even know how to spell the word, let alone understand the proper definition of it. But today, well today I made huge strides into my recovery. You see, the past two days have been rather rocky. No real particular reason why, perhaps too much...
