This article is available in English here. Ginagawa mo namang malaking bagay yang sakit mo sa utak! Puro yang sakit mo na lang lagi sinasabi mo. Masyado mong ginagawang glamoroso! Hindi mo naman kailangan ng gamot eh. Nasa utak mo lang yan! Maging postibo...
Above: mixed media on canvas by Zaeli ElizaYou’re making mental illness as if it’s a big deal! You talk too much about it. You’re glamorizing your illness! You don’t need medication. It’s all in your head. Think positive. Toughen...
Managing emotions is something that comes along with many mental health diagnoses, especially bipolar disorder. Its always one emotion or another and every one of them is usually to the extreme. Some of the emotions I deal with include anger, depression,...
Here’s a post I didn’t think I’d ever write! I have been on what is considered to be the best mood stabilizer for over a year, and my mood symptoms have been totally under control. No ups, no downs. I have also been taken off the selective serotonin reuptake inhibitor...
July 24 is International Self-Care Day. On behalf of International Bipolar Foundation, I asked my friend, Mike, a fitness enthusiast, yogi, plant-based eater and animal lover, to share the benefits of practicing self-care.As a person who lives with bipolar and anxiety...
“This drawing is called ‘The Soup in My Head’ and was drawn by my friend Julia. We were having coffee time together and I shared with her my fear of planning something ahead as I often have fozzy, foggy mood, and moodswings, although I take lithium...
I lived in Northwest Arkansas for several years. My little town was just across the Oklahoma state line and the Cherokee Nation, which is the federally-recognized government of the Cherokee people. We often traveled to Tulsa for shopping and entertainment along...
Above: The Revs. Aaron Maurice Saari and John Freeman being interviewed on Martin Luther King Jr. Day in front of First Presbyterian Church of Yellow Springs. My friends are going to laugh that I have the chutzpah to write an essay on self-care. You see, I am...
We have seen a lot of movies that put the spotlight on mental illness. Movies like “Girl, Interrupted,” “Prozac Nation,” “Rain man,” and very recently “Silver Linings Playbook” and “Infinite Polar Bear,” to...
Addiction is a disease. It can turn someone strong into a powerless human being. It can make someone a prisoner in their own body. “My name is Laura and I am an addict.” That sentence took me three years to say out loud. I always will be an...
Medications can be an excellent form of treatment for bipolar disorder. There are multiple forms of medications including anti-psychotics, anti-depressants, mood stabilizers and anti-anxiety. For me, the most difficult aspect of taking medications is waiting for them...
Dear Bipolar, You have been my closest companion over the years. You found me in high school and refused to leave my side. You convinced everyone that I was always low and moody, making me lose friends in the process. You convinced me that I was less of a person...
Since learning I have bipolar disorder, I have come to the reluctant realization that progress doesnt always occur on my timetable. In my mind, I can see how things will be when Im all better, but every time I race towards recovery, I inevitably stumble. Its like...
Im not who I say I am. Thats because my family would prefer I not use my given name. Many of them dont believe in bipolar disorder. They think my difficulties were created by using street stimulants during my halcyon Hollywood years, struggling to stay...
This is the fourth in a series of 26 posts covering a variety of stress management tools and techniques, starting with the letter A. For some background information on stress and bipolar disorder, the blogger recommends reading her three-part series, “Getting a Handle...
Depression can swiftly overtake you like the tide rolling in, its current pulling you out to sea. It is like drowning, like suffocating beneath the surface as the world goes on above you. The water muffles sound and slows your movements. There is only darkness below,...
I was driving much too fast. I didnt see the stop sign. I sailed right through. The stereo was pumping and my hands gripped the wheel. My foot was pushing harder on the accelerator.I came up to a second stop sign and again I saw nothing. I pushed on the pedal to go...
I hate coincidences. Ever since I’ve recovered from my bipolar psychosis, I’ve had to be wary of coincidences. Psychosis is a very difficult thing to deal with and understand. I’m going to attempt to delve into this very taboo subject because I want people to know...
For many months, I have been suffering from suicidal ideations. I was completely honest with my psychiatrist, my family and friends who support me. I told them that it was not something I wanted to act on, but I couldn’t get the thought out of my mind. For more than...
There’s a reason many of us have trouble sharing our personal battles with mental illness. The reason is the label our society has put on mental health; that anyone who visits a mental health specialist is crazy,” or insane.” Mental illness is...
After 11 years of suffering quietly, I resolved to speak out about something most of us decide is a secret to take to their early graves. For years, decades, lifetimes of silence makes the thing nonexistent to the world. The only reason for this silence is the fear of...
Two years ago there was one thing above all in the mental health world that made the hairs on the back of my neck stand up, and it was electroconvulsive therapy (ECT). Not the thought of the procedure itself, but the side effects. As a nursing student, I did a...
This article is available in English here. Sa kabila ng ilang mga kapansanan sa pag-iisip na tinataglay ko at kasalukuyang nag-gagamot para sa mga ito, masasabi kong hindi talaga ako pala-halubilo sa tao. Mas madalas na gusto kong mapag-isa. Kahit na ganito,...
Apart from the mental conditions I was diagnosed with and am being treated for, I am a recluse and an introvert by nature. Even so, neither of those make me remorseful nor ashamed. I admit though, whenever I am comme ci, comme ça,” I still do try to be a...
I want a divorce. The sentence I was afraid of was coming finally came from his mouth. It felt like a ton of bricks and an ache in my stomach. I felt like I was in a movie where the camera zooms out and shows you like an ant.Shortly after he moved out, I overdosed...
Dear Dad, On your birthday, and on every day, you should know how appreciated and loved you are. I am your daughter that was shy, was afraid of strangers, had separation anxiety from Mom (from what I hear), and was afraid of my own shadow. I played it safe...
Dear Friend (On Your Birthday), We met almost 17 years ago, we dated in Grade 10, we had fun while it lasted (all of 6 or 7 months), and went through the awkward phase were we couldnt be friends because exes werent friends in high school. But, that didnt...
A good support system can mean the difference between living a possibly comfortable life and suffering alone without help. We who suffer know that support is important, but so many people just don’t have access to acceptable support or even a partial support...
Have you ever cheated on your best friend? Have you ever betrayed the trust of someone you cared about more deeply than yourself? How did it feel? For me, it felt like my entire world collapsed around me. My husband my best friend no longer trusts me. I broke my...
This year my psychiatrist changed my initial diagnosis of severe depression to Bipolar II Disorder. For a moment I felt like my world had stopped spinning. I felt lost and betrayed because I did not know what this new diagnosis meant for me. For days I lived in denial...
Until I was 16, I thought that my uncle had died of cancer rather than suicide. There was always a dark joke in the family that we have a history of mental illness in our lineage. There is the distant cousin who lived in a tiger cage because, well, he thought he was a...
Your buttocks are cold and aching because youve been pressing them for too long against those filthy concrete steps on the hallway, in front of the elevator. There are cigarette stumps and ashes all over the place, but that does not bother you in the least. Youre...
I recently planned my Drug Treatment Court Graduation. In July I will successfully graduate; the courtroom will be full of my guests and other participants. Each member of the seven panel treatment team including the judge will take time to give me accolades,...
In December 2012, after a tragic school shooting in Newtown, I thought I was the only mother in America who asked myself, What if thats my son someday? It turns out I was far from alone. Every single day since I shared my familys struggle in a blog post, I Am...
Memories are maybe our most precious commodity. And I mean that they are a one-time deal; once we lose them we cannot get them back. That is the worst part about memories. But they also ground us, they give us direction by showing us where we have been, they allow us...
No one ever sat me down and told me I had bipolar disorder. I can only imagine that some people indeed have this sort of experience. A person might see a clinician, tell them what’s wrong, answer some questions, and maybe fill out a test before learning they have a...
This was written during a manic episode when the author was experiencing psychosis and was hospitalized. It contains adult language which may be triggering to some readers. I awaken. I hear hospital noises. I feel aloof but in control. Why am I here? What is my...
Dear Husband, We made it through the first year of marriage (not that I had any doubts, dont worry)! Weve been through more than our fair share of difficult times, loss and trying times together. But, through thick and thin, weve stayed together and...
Several years ago, before I was diagnosed, during a particularly difficult bout of psychosis I believed I was a prophet receiving messages from God. I went days at a time without sleep, diligently documenting everything I heard, scribbling frantically and filling up...
I was diagnosed over a decade ago. I was young, a teenager, lost with no clue what to do. My first psychiatrist, who I met at age 14, didn’t want to diagnose me when I was too young. He waited a couple years to officially diagnose me with bipolar 1 disorder; I respect...
In a previous article, (Read Part 1: The Happy Salad) I wrote about how eating healthfully helped my emotional stability and listed some ways that helped me lose weight and feel better. One common argument against eating healthy is that it is too expensive. Many...
How do I pray, as someone who lives with bipolar disorder? In my younger years when I was fairly stabilized on medicine, the daily Scriptures were my prayer and my study, sometimes studying several hours with my commentaries and allowing the silence to foster the Holy...
I recently watched as a friend deteriorated as a result of a new medication. She was having an adverse reaction to it and within days was manic. Everyone else saw a happy-go-lucky her, while I saw the irritation building in her, as well as her frustration as she tried...
I was once someone that would read relationship advice articles scoffing at what were commonly myths and misconceptions of how romantic love works. I was a teenager anyway; and we all know that teenagers are authorities in all topics under the sun. I watched too much...
Yesterday I was depressed I felt like my insides had been sucked out of me. I did nothing for most of the day. I didn’t eat or drink anything till after 6:30 PM when I forced myself to warm up and eat dinner. Why did I finally get up and make myself eat dinner? I...
Read Part 1 here. Pent up frustration usually presents itself in the form of anger. Anger is the surest way to boil emotions and make for uncomfortable situations. However, anger is also a sign of being depressed. Depression left untreated has the ability to lead...
Dear, dear friend, I want to say that I’m glad that you did not succeed. Life without you would be a very dull place indeed. You have made it. You are still breathing. Your heart is beating and you have been given a second chance. There are many things I would...
“LET ME OUT OF HERE!” I screamed at the top of my voice, hammering on the nurse’s station door. I was yelling so loud my lungs and chest hurt, my throat was raw and it felt like the veins in my neck would burst. The day’s events that had seemed trivial were no longer...
May is Mental Health Awareness Month. Judging from some of the stuff that flies across my Facebook feed, there is a big need for such awareness. As an individual living with bipolar disorder, a psychotherapist, and a mental health educator, it astounds me how much...
In the past 16 years, I have been on a lot of different medications all of which have affected me differently. Some caused me to gain weight due to feeling hungry all the time and overeating, sometimes they caused me to retain water, and who knows what triggered...
