It has taken me a long time to get where I am. It has been 34 years if you take into account my whole life, 18 if you start from my first venture into the world of psychiatry. More than half my life, just to be here. But here is a great place and was worth the...
DISCLOSURESTOP and read the following clearly. This article may be troubling to somebody thinking about suicide. This article is about personal and factual experiences regarding suicide. Please do not read if you are in a dark place and feeling suicidal. Suicide...
As some of you may know, my 21 year old bipolar son was incarcerated last March during a manic episode where he did something that was, in his words very stupid. He was in the midst of denying his illness and he was running with the wrong crowd, and self-medicating...
My daughter is 11 yrs old. We’ll call her Bug. Bug was diagnosed bipolar when she was 7. It has been a long, difficult road of ups and downs since then. We went through three schools before anyone would listen to me enough to give her an I.E.P. Finally at the end of...
This week I wanted to highlight an artist who both creates art and has been diagnosed with Bipolar Disorder. While searching the Internet I came across Darren Stein, an Australian artist and poet. Although Stein was previously diagnosed with Post-Traumatic Stress...
Recently, I went to my first mental health support group meeting. I must admit I was nervous. What would people talk about? What would people think of me? Would I have to talk? If so, what would I say? Though I’ve never been afraid to speak my mind, this was...
This is one of the hardest blog topics thus far. This topic of Medicare is so complicated and this topic could go on forever. I have summarized the information that I feel will help others understand the in’s and out’s of Medicare, which is very difficult for those in...
I think one of the less talked about aspects of Bipolar Disorder is what happens when one is stable. I mean we hear lots about both the depression side and the mania/hypomania side. But ,what about life as a stable person? Some call it remission. No depression and no...
I was diagnosed with bipolar disorder eleven years ago. Over the years, I have become familiar with my symptoms and I’m actually good at recognizing them for what they are (which is a good thing) and addressing them. One of the main issues I have always had are my...
What is it about stories of past episodes in our life. We all love to tell them. The amazing thing is we retell and retell the same stories to our family and friends as if they constituted a fresh audience every time.My in-laws are well into their seventies and,...
I get stigma on a very regular basis. This in turn severely limits, or even extinguishes, the support that I need. I’ve learned most people are not even aware when they’ve said something hurtful, damaging, or founded solely on falsehoods. People assume there is enough...
I can hear movement in the house as I lie in bed, trying to convince my mind and body that it is time to get up. The front door opening and closing as my partner leaves to take his regular walk across to the local newsagents, music coming from my daughter’s room, her...
I don’t like running. To be honest, I began running out of vanity. My ten year high school reunion was coming up and I refused to look as if I’d just bore two children when I walked through that ballroom door so I started running. Walking just took too...
Today I am focusing on Evanescences song Lithium. Lithium is a drug sometimes associated with bipolar disorder since it has been fairly successful in helping stabilize manic and depressive episodes. Lithium was first used to treat mania in 1970. Kay Jamison wrote...
I recently had cause to look back at the first ever blog post I wrote about my mental health. It’s called A Tale of Two Beasts, and it’s an exploration of the interplay between the feelings of anxiety and depression I was struggling with in April 2011. I wrote it just...
Let me first start by saying I am writing this blog from the John Hopkins Psychiatric Unit, in Baltimore, Maryland. They allow the patients to have their, IPAD, cell phone, and laptop. I decided to submit this blog because daily I find that even those individuals who...
More and more doctors, researchers, school programs, and the media are working to educate the public to overcome this unnecessary disgrace.You Need to Do Your PartEvery time the topic of mental illness comes up in conversation or in public, one more person has the...
Im often asked what gave me HOPE through my darkest years and what gets me through rough patches today. There are several key techniques and practices that have helped me throughout the years, and Im not hesitant to implement them today when I need them. Aside from...
I can always tell when I am dealing with renovation construction while in a hypomanic mood. It costs money, lots of it. My landscaping job started at $5000+-. Add a walkway and entrance pad of hand laid stone on a whim. $12,000+- total. Add an irrigation system...
I shall be with you in a moment Henrietta. Dr Black-Boots walks past, forced smile; giving others around her the impression, she is hurrying. I am not convinced.She enters a room to the right hand side of the waiting area, the small, claustrophobic duty room. I can...
On a day filled with thunderstorms and torrential rains, we sit in the bedroom. Clementine, my 11 month old puppy, is curled in a ball at my feet. The television news warns viewers this storm could produce hail and possibly tornado activity. Stay inside! Take cover!...
Each of us finds strength in our own way. There are many different ways, reasons, places and/or people to get our inspiration from. Sometimes it’s faith, sometimes it’s music. Maybe you find your solace in nature. I find my comfort in my faith. But it hasn’t always...
Scott Inside Out’s last post about the lone tree (http://www.scottinsideout.com/2013/05/the-lone-tree-part-1/) focused on support. When I look at lone trees I also see that of choosing to live and really fighting for it. Trees that are located in areas with high...
I was introduced to a song the other day that hit home, and brings tears to my eyes every time I hear it. The song (with some lyrics below) touches on something that is not discussed in detail SHAME.I cannot begin to tell you even 17 years after my Bipolar diagnosis...
Growing up, I would often notice lone trees by themselves while on roadtrips. I remember asking my parents how the tree survived on its own with no other trees around. And I remember feeling sorry for the tree! Kind of strange, I know, however kids come up with the...
How we define ourselves is perhaps far more important than we wish to believe and has far-reaching consequences.Many of us naturally define ourselves by our gender, religion or ethnicity, by social class, occupation or educational attainments. Others find the roles...
Bipolar disorder has been such a shameful and an incredibly misunderstood place for me. Full of false guilt, embarrassment and regret. Confusion, anger and sadness. And plenty of hurt. Until three weeks ago, it’s been my dark little secret for almost eleven years.I...
Ten years ago a dear friend of mine gave me a little book during my very first hospital stay called Keep on Trying which is centered around a kitten. I have been reminded of that book in many different ways over the last year through two dear friends. It has inspired...
I’ve been thinking a lot about my adolescence lately. This is partly because I’m continuing to delve into my past as I work on my memoir, and partly because both my children are now at ages at which I was battling bipolar pretty much single-handedly. It’s also...
I was sitting around the other day thinking about how long it has been since I was diagnosed with bipolar disorder at the age of 18 and all that has happened since then. It’s quite interesting because I seem to remember my first inpatient stay still so vividly, but I...
Someone commented on the Scott Inside Out facebook page (https://www.facebook.com/scottinsideout2) a while ago that they’d like to know how to “stop the slide”. This is an excellent question! It refers the ability to stop from getting depressed when things are going...
I don’t know about you but I have a serious problem, writing Angry. Doesn’t sound that bad right? Well for someone like me, a professed writer (blogger), it can be. It can put your life/career/hobby on hold for an extended amount of time. It can cause writers block....
Mental Health is hard to pin down. People with depression, anxiety, Bipolar, Schizophrenia, and such aren’t always as open as people with physical illnesses. For one reason, they don’t feel as comfortable talking about their illness because of the...
I have the handprints in a frame. I have the popsicle jewelry box. I even have the photo calendar. What I don’t have is my older son. But I can’t have him. Not this year. For those of you who haven’t been following my story, the short version is...
When a spouse, family member or friend points out something that you said or did wrong that you were not aware of, or a habit that does not serve you well (http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/emotional-fitness/201301/10-tools-change-hurtful-habits), how do you feel?...
Problem 1: Views are Extremely DistortedPeople need to know that they are not alone in their suffering, and that there is help. Most of all they need to know that they are not broken, or rejected; and they didn’t do anything wrong. Mary Decan, the Chair of Bell...
Even though I was diagnosed as bipolar in the year 2000, it was something that I felt too embarrassed to talk about until fairly recently. It’s only in the past few years that I’ve been comfortable telling people besides family about my bipolar diagnosis. In my...
On the Scott Inside Out – Natural Mental wellness facebook page last week, I asked what tips people would like to learn about in terms of bipolar disorder. And also what would give them the most value. Someone responded by wanting to know how...
I have Bipolar Disorder 1 with medication resistant depression. At one point, I was taking up to five different medications just to control my Bipolar Disorder. It was horrible. I’d take a medication for a few months, then have to have the dosage increased or even...
I apologize for my lack of posts for the past month. My professors have a tendency to pack all the exams at the beginning of the month and then I lose track of the times I need to submit entries in. On the brighter side, I am four weeks away from graduation.May...
The most courageous decision you make each day is the decision to be in a good mood.I simply could not sleep last night. I tried, as we so often find ourselves doing, endeavouring to master and victoriously conquer the alluring and devilish seductress of sweet...
I have four cats. They are like my kids. I wake up every morning and go find each one and kiss them, after of course I kiss my husband! I grew up with dogs, and went through pets that taught responsibility, these were the guinea pigs, rabbits, and fish. Although...
I had been expecting the call. Finally, two and a half weeks ago it came. Not that I wanted it to come, but it didn’t surprise me. Over the last couple years, I’ve expected it. And dreaded it too.When I first heard the news, I was remarkably calm. All...
Happy pills, I’ve got those happy pills…Recently I was fortunate enough to be interviewed by Philippa Willetts, a blogger and tweeter who has just launched a new podcast called Converge. Philippa plans to use podcasts to look at various forms of activism and, as a...
The hardest part of living with a mental illness is the stigma that is in the world today. This unfortunate attitude makes living with these health issues so much worse than it needs to be. It creates feelings of shame, inferiority, failure and brokenness for the...
I have found that I ran the range of emotions over time in my bipolar existence. Some of them occurred despite my bipolar illness and some were the cause of it.Of major concern to me was a fear or feeling of doom or dread that took over my psyche when I was depressed....
Fear, something that affects everyone at some point in their lives. One of our first fears in life is usually the boogie-man in the closet as a child, or the monster under our beds. Some say, “A healthy dose of fear is a good thing.” I’m not sure where I stand on that...
My wish for you today and every day after isTo know your true worthTo value yourselfTo treat yourself like you do othersTo be kind and gentle with yourself because you know you deserve itTo feel peace from your inner painTo know how strong you truly areTo understand...
Those of us with some form of Bipolar, understand how our minds work. Most of us are gifted with creativity that drives us, especially during manic times. But for those reading this who do not have Bipolar, the creative aspect of Bipolar may be a bit of a mystery....
As I recall somewhat hazily, nine months ago I decided to take a break from writing. Initially it was only going to be for a few short months. Just enough time to steady my increasingly chaotic moods, have some much needed time to myself and to enjoy more of my now...
