I can’t believe that I’m actually writing this in the middle of a mixed episode right now, or presenting mixed features of a bipolar episode, because for the most part when my mind races like this, I can’t even articulate a relevant thought let alone write a series of...
A question central to my recent discussions with my therapist is: Is my identity too centered on my mental illness? When I was diagnosed with bipolar disorder in 2013, I was thankful. Not upset, not rejecting. But thankful. For months and months prior to my...
In my last blog post ‘My Experience with Psychotic Depression: Part 1’, I wrote about how I became suicidally depressed and psychotic, which lead to a hospitalisation. In this post I will write about the changing point of my depression and how I got better. I was...
Previously I have written about friends asking me what to do if they think that someone they know has bipolar. Recently, I have been thinking of friends who think that they themselves may have the disorder. They come from different circumstances but one common...
When an earthquake occurs in the ocean, the ripple effect causes tsunamis whose effects are felt on shores thousands of miles away. The intrigue about tsunamis is that they can never be predicted and even when they are anticipated the damage caused is always...
Growing up, I was the one who looked up to everyone: 5 siblings, my parents, tons of older cousins, aunts, uncles, and grandparents. I had idolized many of them. Now that Im becoming an adult, despite 23 not being old (even though I feel it sometimes), I feel like...
Being a teen is rough. That’s the understatement of the century. Add having bipolar disorder on top of that and life just gets that much harder. I didn’t get diagnosed until I was 22, (I’m 28 now) but the signs were starting to show when I was in high school. It was...
In high school I was often sad. Im not a doctor, but have heard that depression can be an early indicator of bipolar disorder. I was also the dreamy-look-out-the-window type of ADD. Mom always says I lacked the inner knowledge of the social pecking order. My...
I was in the tenth grade at the age of 14. I was never popular. I stayed in the background and kept to myself or at least attempted to. My peers bullied me and I gave up on fighting back. I took it, internalized it, and never spoke of it when I got home. What was the...
Cognitive Behavior Therapy (CBT) is an effective approach for a variety of issues, including bipolar disorder. Its based on the ancient philosophical idea that suffering isnt the result of what happens to us, but the result of how we interpret what happens to us....
Good afternoon readers, I need to write about an issue that’s growing by epic proportions and it hits close to home for me on a personal level, dealing with depression and suicidal thoughts. I am not a clinical psychologist. However, I have experienced firsthand the...
Ive read in many places that the average person has around 70,000 thoughts per day. You may have already heard this. That is a huge number! Seventy thousand. Its also been said that the typical person has more negative than positive thoughts. And for...
Several posts ago I wrote about my experience with psychotic mania (‘My Manic Summer’) and now I want to write about when I was psychotically depressed. I said in ‘My Manic Summer’ that I have only experienced psychosis once and that was when I was manic, but I was...
I’m writing this three days fresh out of an acute treatment unit. It’s a locked facility similar to a mental hospital, but smaller. It’s not the first time I’ve voluntarily admitted myself to this unit due to extreme symptoms and personal safety issues, but it’s...
Does anyone know where the kids are? Oh, theyre being watched while I see my family friend and doctor, as I always do when Im having issues. Because my home is in escrow, I had to clear out for their final physical inspection. The contract is on the card table. The...
Though problematic or compulsive internet use has been debated as far as validity and scope, it is not currently recognized as a psychiatric disorder. However, a cautionary word from my Mom: Anything in excess is a problem. Everything in moderation! With that...
The other day I noticed that a plant in my cactus garden began to grow something that looked like horns and then like green candy canes! At first I thought I should pluck them out because they were weird looking. I asked a friend what she thought I should...
When you’ve been newly diagnosed with bipolar, your world can get turned upside down. I know that mine did. A lot of people, myself included, just want things to go back to normal and get back to being a productive member of society. Understandable. But how do you...
As I weave in and out of social justice spaces at the University of Kansas and its town, Lawrence, I regularly track what conversations are most prevalent and determine what the culture and nature of social justice rhetoric is around me. Intersectionality and...
Bipolar is such a tough disease to live with, day in and day out. Never knowing when or where your moods will change. Yet what I always found even more challenging is when I did not know what my triggers were and what to do when they came at me from all...
When I think about involuntary hospitalization, I feel vaguely violated. It was sudden, and it wasn’t my choice. I was deceived before the police showed up and slapped on the handcuffs. It was personal and not. It hurt, bewildered and shocked me. Terrifying? For...
This is the third article in a 3-part series. The author recommends reading the first article and second article before reading this one. Bipolar disorder is a big, hairy beast of an illness. It can be intimidating, scary, and unpredictable. But by using...
So, as you know if you read my other blog, I am triggered very harshly by the sounds of chewing (even if it’s quiet)! My fiancé and I turn on the television when we eat together to drown out the chewing noises so I don’t become manic. Today, the...
It’s amazing to me to think that on November 1st of this year my ex-husband and I will have been split for 9 yrs. I think about the person I was back then and it terrifies me. I was so unstable, unsure of myself and had no direction in life. I was in a dark hole...
I sometimes wonder how and why many people who have bipolar disorder feel and become creative. I know, for example, when I am in mania I become far more into writing, descriptions, and reading book after book. I crave to live outside my life most of the time, but...
Quite a while ago I was told that during spring and summer I would most likely be controlling underlying mania and during winter I would be fighting depression. This is because medication doesn’t work very well for me, my moods are very seasonal and I have the type of...
In the past week I had an in-depth conversation about bipolar disorder with a friend of mine who knows very little about it. I appreciated her honesty and being open to learn about something that has been a big part of my life. One question that she asked me really...
I woke up sad and nervous before drug treatment court this morning. My friend, Cee, was going to be held today in county jail until a bed opened up at a nearby drug treatment facility: she kept failing drug screens and this was her consequence. It would be meted...
Recently a friend asked me what to do about someone that he suspects has bipolar. It was not someone I knew and as he was back in his home country, I could only give some pointers over Facebook message. Firstly, I asked him to read up about the condition,...
After six days in the psychiatric hospital, I was taken to the intensive care unit because I had thought of a way I could kill myself in the hospital. There wasn’t much freedom in the regular unit, but there was even less in ICU. We were only allowed...
All I have is a doctor or two, some friends, a bottle of pills, and a big mouth. These all serve as strategies to cope when I’m feeling especially hypomanic or depressed. I’m not the most strategic person in the world, but these few little “mental illness...
through the depression. I felt, without a body, something in agony or maybe a body without a soul, stiff and too heavy to pull from the bed. Yes – an obese body, my own flesh and grief, too heavy for my body to lift. There...
I made fake social networking profiles, lied about boyfriends, and of course thrived in the many fantasy worlds I had invented when I was really sick. For the longest time I believed I was destined to be someone other than the person that was living with my flesh and...
IBPF recently did a lecture about families and bipolar disorder that featured both consumers and caregivers there was someone living with bipolar disorder, their parent, and their sibling. Now, I thought that was an amazing idea because I have five siblings. Yup!...
There has been an increased interest in the judicial system among advocates for people living with mental illness: Human Rights Watch shocked America with the truth. A 127-pageinvestigative report describes a criminal justice system in America and its use of...
“I didn’t think I’d make it this far.” This thought has been a constant on the minds of many, at least at one time or another. It is a blatant cry of lost hope, but the courageous steps of something to look forward to. It’s all about finding that ‘one thing’ that...
I was diagnosed with bipolar disorder six years ago. I’ve made a full recovery, but it hasn’t all been peaceful. I still have my ups and downs. Case in point, the week before last I had a panic attack before work. I had been so busy taking care of family members that...
In the LGBT community, the link between mental illness most notably bipolar disorder, trauma and addiction is undeniable. With heightened visibility comes the need to strengthen the clinical skills required to work alongside this stigmatized population. This...
This essay won 3rd Place in our 2015 Essay Contest and was written by Robert Ye, a high school student in Chappaqua, New York, USA. Widely regarded as one of the greatest leaders of the 20th century, Winston Churchill is believed to have suffered from bipolar...
This essay won 2nd Place in our 2015 Essay Contest and was written by Hosana Tagomori, a high school student in Bangkok, Thailand. More often than not, the media portrays characters with mental illness as incomprehensible, tortured, and convoluted. However, the...
This essay won 1st Place in our 2015 Essay Contest and was written by Jake McCann, a high school student in Scottsdale, AZ, USA. Winston Churchill was one of the most influential and inspiring figures of the 20th century. He served twice as First Lord of the...
I have Bipolar Disorder. That’s not unusual. I also have fibromyalgia. Having both of these diseases makes my life very hard to deal with sometimes, but somehow I always manage. It takes a lot of endurance and I deal with a lot of pain, but I pull through...
Parenting isn’t easy. Anyone who’s ever parented, or has even just been parented well knows that. Don’t they say, “It takes a village to raise a child”? As if to say raising children well takes more than just one person, it takes a community, right? Let’s...
I’m sitting here at my desk reflecting on what I want to write about. The thought that keeps coming back to my mind is the importance of awareness. How can we use our inner turmoil and pain to inspire others? My story of depression is a long and drawn out one, one...
Grab a journal. This will become an essential. 1. Learn the basics. Know what Bipolar Disorder is, and the symptoms of mania and depressive episodes. Write Mania on one side and Depressive on the other. Write all of the symptoms down, even if you havent...
Editor’s Note: This was orginally a book and has been converted to a blog. Each paragraph was a different page in the book. Dedication: This book is dedicated to my dad. My dad has a daily struggle with his mental illnesses. But, he pushes through it, and...
I had been out of work for five years and then four months ago, I began working part time. The job completely drained me and so I quit Thursday a week ago. I couldn’t believe how relieved I was afterwards. Then Friday came; I began second-guessing myself...
I used to think “I hate being depressed, anxious or worried. Why should I want to share my weakness with others? It would be like sharing my dirty laundry.” Nowadays I think “When I feel depressed, anxious or worried, I know that if I share my...
Paradoxically, I’ve found newfound perspectives of patience, humor, and focus borne of depression itself that have strengthened my resolve to survive and recover. I’m hoping that through this blog, you can grab onto a positive idea to bridge whatever mental...
I was once a compulsive liar and it is something that changed people’s perceptions about me. I am not a compulsive liar anymore, but I can tell when my parents, my sister, my friends, and even my doctors question whether what I tell them is true. Some of us struggle...
