During my bouts with depression I found it nearly impossible to feel grateful. I made lists of things I should be grateful for but the feeling of gratitude didn’t reach my heart. It was a miserable way to live since true gratitude brings me a deep,...
Disclaimer: the purpose of this blog is not to discourage you from taking meds, but to be informed about the meds you take and to be open with your doctor about the side effects you experience. I haven’t always been full of self-confidence or high self-esteem....
I’ve recently been discharged from a psychiatric clinic for a depression episode. I’ve been writing and thinking a lot about my current state as well as my experiences within the clinic, but mainly what I want in my life. This piece touches on my state of mind...
Six weeks ago I relapsed from my addiction recovery and, subsequently, from my Bipolar Disorder recovery. The two are so intertwined that a distinction can barely be made by me or my mental health team. When I use substances I also quit taking my medications....
We all have scars, scars from our past, scars from pain. We’re all on a journey, a journey we did not choose. Some of those scars are emotional scars, while others are on the outside. Our scars tell our stories. They reveal what we have been through and where we have...
A few months ago my mood tipped the scales into hypomania, dangerously verging on mania. This is an issue for me because once hypomanic I very quickly become chaotically manic. Fortunately I wasn’t bad enough to lose all insight and didn’t stop taking my medication...
I have been relatively stable for almost six months now. For me, that’s huge. I still have small bouts of depression here and there or times where my anxiety spikes and my thoughts race, but so far it’s all been manageable. So, why then, do I feel so...
“Music washes away from the soul, the dust of everyday life”- Berthold AuerbachGrowing up, music was a big part of my household. Not that any of us played musical instruments but just, enjoying it. Dancing around the house. Singing at the top of our lungs....
Psychiatric disorders can cause a multitude of problems that would be very difficult for a person without a psychiatric disorder to deal with. If you have a psychiatric disorder, it is even worse. I have a friend who like me has bipolar disorder and...
Do you ever feel like while you’re having a mood swing that you are trying to say something but it’s just coming out wrong? Back when I had my horrible mood swings I always felt like there was something that I was trying to say, but it wasn’t coming out...
This past month I have been trying to hone in on my emotions as there is much going on in my life-two part time jobs, part time student, moving, and my upcoming wedding in May. I filled out my mood chart indicating I am between feeling “normal” (or what I call...
This is a tool that I learned about on a Facebook post late last year written by Elizabeth Gilbert, the author who wrote “Eat Pray Love”. I’ve been consistently using this tool since January 1, 2015 and am grateful to have come across it! This tool helps anyone,...
Read Part 1 here: Stickers on the Floor: Productivity in the Home, Part II rearrange the items on the kitchen counter 10 times until I get it exactly the way I want it. While doing so, my daughter is watching the last few minutes of a cartoon before her bedtime....
To share your mental illness with people or not to share… that is one of the toughest questions we come up against. I have always been a very open person – especially about my mental health. But I have always drawn a line between personal and professional...
Last month, I wrote about my drop in center, Rebel’s Drop In, which offers peer mentoring, art classes, outings, and other activities. What would it take to start one? What is peer mentoring?A peer is someone who has personal experience living with mental...
I have been battling a depressive episode for the last two months. We fool around with my medications but I haven’t felt like myself in about five months. Three days ago I posted a photo on my Instagram account about recovery and thought a quote about recovery...
College is a time for creating memories with friends, stressing over the five midterms you have this week, and discovering the importance of napping, right? Once I graduated from high school, college came a-knocking three months later. Among those at my door were...
This is the second article in a 3-part series. The author recommends reading the first article before reading this one.A good detective uses a variety of methods to solve cases: paying attention, asking questions, making connections. Those of us with bipolar disorder...
I’ve been blogging as Still Hopeful Mom for more than two years now. Using this pseudonym has enabled me to express myself completely without reservation. I’ve told the story of my son’s spiral into mental illness. I’ve documented the ups and downs of our turbulent...
It was the first Saturday night at my new place and I was anxious to get away from the cardboard boxes that filled my room. Luckily, I had been invited by an old friend to come join her and a couple of her friends in the city. I didnt know anyone in the area yet and...
I have bipolar 1 disorder with mixed episodes. I’m having a resting day again and I’m trying not to feel guilty about it. My preschooler is with a friend and my husband took off work. About a week and a half ago it became clear that hypomania started working overtime,...
What does it mean to be a girl? This question seemed to scratch incessantly at the forefront of my mind growing up. I was never sure, never had any definite answers to cling to and the answers I did have were discouraging. I didnt realise that I was merely...
Cameron lives in Arizona and is one of our graphic designers. You have seen her work if you follow us on any of our social media accounts. She designs graphics for events, anti stigma campaigns, and anything else we ask her to do. If you participated in World Bipolar...
Libby is one of our local volunteers in San Diego, California. She gives presentations and goes to resource fairs for us to spread awareness about bipolar disorder and IBPF. Libby is very knowledgable about living with bipolar disorder and is wonderful at...
Bipolar (Disorder) people must have magnets to one another, because since I met you I have met all your friends and they all have Bipolar Disorder, observes my partner. So I do a quick search of the internet: A 2009 thread describes a similar...
I like referring to mental illnesses as mental health challenges. This is because it is more inclusive of people who may not have a diagnosis. It reminds us that there are many related challenges and it offers hope that the challenges can be...
2/25/15 Mania. I am manic as hell right now. I can’t sit still. Nothing is enough. It’s insatiable. I smoke too much, want sex too much, shop too much. And it’s never enough. Never. I have to keep going, keep seeking out...
How do you deal with the pain and anxiety that comes with having bipolar? Have you ever thought about exercising? I exercise six days a week and it is a huge stress reliever. I highly recommend it. It’s hard finding the motivation to do it, but you could...
I think as a blogger it’s important to touch upon a lot of different topics. It’s also important to know the audience you’re writing for, and I’m finding this topic of ECT being discussed a lot within the mental health community online groups. Electroconvulsive...
There is a saying, that we are as unique as snowflakes, that no one is the same, by just being human. I knew there was something happening in my mind but all of a sudden, I was grouped together with a bunch of especially unique snowflakes that were sort of like...
One of the challenges of living with bipolar is not knowing when one is being overly reactive. I have had to think through this question quite a few times in the past six months with respect to circumstances that affect my sleep. Previously I mentioned that...
Practicing self-care when it comes to Bipolar Disorder means that not only do I take my meds and see my doctor regularly, but also over the years I’ve learned a few “tricks” to help get me by. These are simple things that make my life, and the lives...
At the start of the year I returned to work after 6 months off due to a depressive episode, and as always, it was hard. This was the third time I’ve had to pick myself up after lengthy hospital stays for either depression or mania. While you’re in hospital...
March is always a hard month for me and my family because of the anniversary of my brother’s death. This year on March 16th, it is the 10th year since he took his life. He suffered from bipolar disorder and passed away when he was only 25 years old. He died...
I’m not sure where I learned this string of 5 words but it has been a mighty big help in my life! For example: Today I was working on my Facebook page and for promotional purposes I wanted to view the people who had “liked” my page. I...
“Hey, how are you?” Oh man. Yikes. Whoa. Here we go again. I pause and consider my options in response to this question. If you have bipolar or experience any other form of mental illness, you probably understand why this question can be so tricky to answer. Do I...
My kids are growing up. I know it’s inevitable, but I want time to stop. I know there are many parents that feel that way, but for me it’s heartbreaking. You see, I missed out on a lot of precious time with my kids while they were growing up. For the...
Last night after the kids went to bed, I was mopping frantically looking at these spots on the kitchen floor. Why won’t these come up? I set the mop to the side, maneuvered my way – slipping and sliding – to take a closer look. Yep. Stickers. My two kids...
How far can my loved ones understand me when it comes to my disorder? Sometimes I think they get it, other times…not so much. When I am manic, for example, no one takes my credit card and tells me to stay in the house and not do “outrageous things” like...
The purpose of this tool is to be reminded of good things that people have said about us. When I’ve felt low in the past and taken a look through this file, it has helped to improve my mood. This tool consists of both a physical file folder and a...
This is the million dollar question. If you’re newly diagnosed, the idea of being on medication for the rest of your life can be terrifying. If you’ve been on medications for years and now they have stopped working, the possibility of no...
I just watched A Beautiful Mind again and found the premise that love conquers all somewhat hyperbolic in the film (I kept thinking, “If you’d just take your meds…”). But then I remembered my college English teacher, who said hyperbole usually contains a shred of...
May cause depression. Three of the scariest words I’ve ever read. May. Cause. Depression. As a person living with bipolar, moods are a central point when making decisions. If I take this job will I be happy? Will I be forced to give up free time and activities...
The summer of 2013/2014 was magnificent, exhilarating and glorious. It was also a manic summer. I had just come out of one of the darkest winters of my life, where I was hospitalised and everything had ground to a halt for months. Spring came around, and with it...
I recently directed a high school production of Fiddler on the Roof. For those of you who may not know it, this is the story of a simple milkman in 1905 Russia who tries to keep the traditions of his Jewish culture and the desires of his contemporary daughters in...
For many years I have carried a huge weight on my heart, my soul and my mind. While I was battling my bipolar illness six years ago, many things happened in my life that were an outcome of my illness but not typical of my true personality, values and morals. I...
During the past year I received wonderful online support from bipolar-themed social media contacts and bloggers. As fulfilling as their encouragement was, I also craved real life support, connection and friendships with people diagnosed with bipolar...
I can see the world around me. The trees, the lakes, the beautiful snow. I can see the children playing, laughing and so. I can see the couples hand in hand, the snow covered beach sand. I can see the beautiful houses sitting a row, I can see the wildlife such as a...
One of the reasons I am glad that I moved to Florida is that it led me to a peer run drop in center near my house called Rebels Drop In. In my small county, Broward, between Palm Beach and Miami-Dade, we have 5 of these centers. Peer run drop in centers average 5 per...
The best part about having bipolar disorder, is knowing you have bipolar disorder. There aren’t any other tangible benefits, but there are definite ways to cope. Even though I had hundreds of friends and thousands online friends, life after my diagnosis was...
