Some of us are so far from what we imagined our lives would be like; Some have exactly what they pictured; Some are trying to do everything they can to escape the constant reminder that we failed to meet our childhood expectations and dreams of adulthood. No matter...
As I lay in my bed in the early stages of a cold I cry. For about a year I have been trying to gain the strength to stay awake and be in the mood to go to a club in the United States with my husband, as my husband is new to the states as of February. Now this may seem...
The latest that has been going on with me is the tumultuous depression that has spiked in my life due to our (my husband and myself) living situation. I am thirty-one years old. My husband is twenty-eight. We are living in the basement of my parents’ home. This...
Controlling our Bipolar Disorder is a full time job, even during the good times. We have meds, psychotherapy, and other standard treatments. However, have you considered food as a form of treatment? I’ve discovered there are certain foods that help me keep the...
Finals are the dreading exams we take at the end of each semester that not only covers four months worth of material in 50 questions, but covers a large sum of our overall grades. The intense pressure to do well on finals is a nightmare for any college student, but...
This is the time of year that we become reflective and think about all the reasons why we have become thankful.I know I do it. I see it all over the Internet on Facebook and Twitter. People posting why they are thankful. The Internet by-ways are practically flooded...
Counting sheepChase the thoughtsAnd shutdown my racing mind.Counting the flock just doesn’t stopThose endless thoughts of mine.Enter baa baa black sheepIn a small prescription form.He comes in twos, but I make him fourWhen I crack him always in half,Or grind him up in...
Several weeks ago I saw my psychiatrist and admitted that I had been indulging in activities that I knew were bad for me, because they supported or nurtured my hypomania. My psychiatrist reminded me that I was playing with fire (since for my, hypomania can be a...
Sometimes when I walk the world I wish you knew me.I also wish I knew me too.Only memories plague my mind.But, the memories don’t tell me who I am or whether I ever knew who I was.It’s just blank.I am more than I see.I am stronger than I think.I am more knowledgeable...
Relapse is both a fear and a loitering thought in the minds of many recovering from any illness or disease. I know for me personally, I always feared relapse of my bipolar disorder and my self-injury. The longer I went doing well; the fear joined the loitering thought...
“Don’t you dare, for one second, surround yourself with people who are not aware of the greatness that you are.”- Jo Blackwell-PrestonI knew there was a problem when this quote made me cry.. . .My friends and family knew I was bipolar. They knew...
In my first post I mentioned that there was a time when my mental health was in rapid decline. It was at this point when I realized that I had to change something before it was too late. But what? And, how? I didn’t know the answers. I needed some information....
In my personal experience, I have found that the absolute worst saying that has ever come about in the English language is Ignorance is Bliss. For, truly, what are you really saying about yourself? If you boil that saying down to the essence of what it really...
There was a time when my mental health got to the point I had memory gaps. I was in a rapid decline and aware of it. I had a disabled boyfriend who took care of me, instead of the other way around. I didn’t trust doctors anymore. I knew if I didn’t pull myself up, no...
“No one knows about a swing better than someone who has Bipolar Disorder.Mood swings are the major part of my life. I’m either on my way up. Up. On my way down. Down. Or I’m “stable” waiting and not knowing if my next swing will be up or down.I’ve experienced...
I recently discovered a very important lesson and realization. Unresolved issues can bite you in the butt at any time without any distinct warning. They can cause anywhere from a little hiccup to complete devastation no matter where you are on the recovery trail. This...
Those of us in this war on our disorder, facing each battling day with all the challenges we face can relate to what I’m about to say. Growing up my mom always prompted me to make a list of the things I need to do for each day. My grandmother always encouraged...
An average of ten million viewers tune into Grey’s Anatomy a week, and in a recent episode we saw a glimpse into what the producers and writers of this acclaimed series think about inpatient psych treatment.Grey’s Anatomy Season 9 Episode 2:“I said no more damn...
My usual reaction when I hear that a film or a book has a bipolar character is to cringe. Bipolar is a condition that evokes interest, sometimes rather prurient interest, in others and I’m very much aware how much public attitudes towards bipolar are shaped by the...
Never let another person’s opinion of yourself be your view of yourself. Winston Churchill said, “We are still masters of our fate. We are still captains of our souls.” No one can take that away from you. Don’t be afraid to let your voice be...
Bipolar’s an interesting diagnosis. It’s sometimes seen as enviably “cool” or “sexy” by people with more run of the mill diagnoses such as depression or anxiety. It’s serious, yet it’s nowhere near as stigmatising a diagnosis to receive as, say, schizophrenia. This is...
This may not hit home with all of you, but it is whats on my mind lately. Often we hear in movies and hospital shows the common line, “science can only come so far, and then there’s God.” I don’t know about the rest of you, but I put a lot of...
Sometimes you’re not depressed, you’re just not happy. And given the world we live in with stress, and the realities of the plot of our lives, it’s hard to decipher the difference between chemical depression and self-inflicted depression.How do you know if you are...
I have Bipolar Disorder, Social Anxiety Disorder, Depression, Panic Disorder, General Anxiety Disorder, PTSD, and a slew of other medical issues not related to psychology. However, I have become concerned about developing Alzheimers disease or Dementia as I grow...
I used to believe in the saying “you can’t really love someone until you love yourself”. I used to also believe in the idea “coping skills are productive if they help you deal with a life situation”. Well, at age 27, I can definitely say I don’t believe in either...
I have a hard time truly disclosing to anyone how I am doing on the inside. Mood charts were very vague for me and the more I got used to the typical mood rating conversation, the easier it was to not disclose my thoughts and feelings, especially if I wasn’t directly...
What was going on when you were first diagnosed? Do you remember your symptoms? Do you remember where you were and what happened? Why or how you ended up seeing a Doctor or Psychiatrist? Was your family involved? Or were you alone?I first noticed that I saw the robins...
Bipolar and Recovery. Two words that don’t normally go together in many circles. But, new research has determined that “recovery” is attainable for those with Bipolar and possibly other mental illnesses.What does it take? Is there a magic pill? Why haven’t we heard of...
Mental Illness can damage the brain. You can’t just wait for it to go away. The longer you wait to get treatment, the worse it will get and the greater chance that prescription drugs won’t work. That is a direct quote from a June 2012 Readers...
I went to an all girls catholic high school, which means one thing: uniforms. I loved uniforms. I may have been the only person in my class who actually liked wearing the same shirt and skirt every day.On the weekends I was faced with my real clothes. I would go to...
My baby is almost a year old now and I’m still unstable. This statement confuses my family and friends because on the outside, I seem like myself again – I shower and wear make-up on a regular basis, my sense of humor is back and I’ve gone back to work. I’m...
Some people may not have the privilege of having a spouse like I do to balance my tendencies to over spend, particularly on gourmet cooking. I started a blog with a friend of mine called Dinner Bromantic. We get together weekly to make some delicious food. We have...
Last Tuesday, I was telling my friend Anna that generally speaking, I am quite self-aware when it comes to my bipolar moods. I have never been able to understand it when people say things like, “I was depressed, but I didn’t even know it”, because I am so acutely...
It is August, and around this time for the last 9 years, I think back to 2002 and getting ready to start my freshman year of college in a new state, new town, and not knowing a single soul. Little did I know how life changing or should I say life altering and an...
In 2003, I was diagnosed with bipolar I disorder, a few months after my 18th birthday. I had many other diagnoses during the early years of my diagnosis including depression, generalized anxiety disorder, borderline personality disorder, and bulimia. In 2011, I...
Being a parent is hard. Let’s face it, there is no instruction manual. Goodness knows we’re all going to make our share of mistakes. It’s just a part of life. As hard as parenting is, usually you have a partner to help you thru the tough times. It’s even harder...
I’ve never been suicidal but have certainly acted suicidal. It’s part of my disease. It’s kinda ridiculous when I break it down. My thought process is somewhat funny to me. I think to myself, I have wayyy to much to offer in this lifetime and so much to do so how can...
It’s been 31 days since my last drink. Our doctors tell us not to drink. Even Lil’ Wayne raps in his special guest appearance on the Weezer song “Can’t Stop Partying” – “..party like tomorrow is my funeral, gotta stop mixing...
This one is for any of you who have been hospitalized. Have any of you ever had the dream of being either back in the hospital or having the dream of family members threaten to admit you? This dream would occur for me more frequently when I drank alcohol. I steer...
My family has always been very supportive and had my best interests in mind. Only my best friends know that I have bipolar disorder. When it comes to stigma, ever since I got out of the hospital in 9th grade I thought there was something wrong with me. My stepmom...
Ive always been open about being bipolar. Except at work. And now I know why.Last year I published a tell all book about my journey of manic depression and my experiences working in an inpatient psych ward in a county hospital in Los Angeles, CA. When the county...
I hate everything about mornings. Especially the waking up part. Also not a fan of birds chirping. Or sunshine. I’m not sure why I’m this way. I just tend to perk up at night, say around 7 p.m. That’s when I usually get a burst of energy and the desire to do...
I went to my psychiatrist Friday for a follow-up from my initial visit a month ago. I’d had high hopes with the Wellbutrin/anxiety pill prescription combo. I felt better…happy…for a couple weeks. Then, depression set in. Like the can’t-get-out-of-bed variety. It...
“I’d rather been skinny and crazy than fat and sane.”And that is no joke. We talk about side effects of our medications but what about the side effects we get from the side effects of your medication. I’m talking about fat. Yup. A woman’s favorite word to hate:F A...
Idk why, but I’m feeling the need to out myself & what better place than fb? I’m bipolar 1 & am having postpartum MANIA. I was so scared of ppd that I never even thought of this side. I’m in solution – my team is observing me – I...
On April 14th 2011, Catherine Zeta Jones came out to the world thatshe suffered from Bipolar II Disorder. Merely a year later, on June15, 2012, Jones made an appearance on ABC’s The View and Joy Beharinquired about her experience of Bipolar Disorder. Zeta...
Insomnia….oh that blasted, dreaded word but there you have it what’s keeping others, like me, awake at night. So what is insomnia, what does it mean exactly? In layman’s terms…. You can’t sleep. More officially it means….the difficulty initiating or maintaining sleep,...
I saw a new psychiatrist recently. He is wonderful. Also, I’ve been officially diagnosed as bipolar II. I suspected as much, but never had specific confirmation. I’ve been feeling much better on my new medication, so I have hope. There are still a few side effects,...
I was the first of my friends to decide to start a family. I was only 22, and most people in my social circle were a long way from settling down, let alone having a baby. They tried to be supportive during the pregnancy and in the early days of parenthood, but I could...
I have horrible taste in men, and it’s really getting old. I’m not gonna lie. I spent most of my twenties in a sudo manic high so lost a lot of years trying to find true love. I managed to scare off most of the men in New York and Los Angeles with my intensity which...
