Our Blog

Why Keeping A Positive Attitude Matters In Spite Of Depression

Why Keeping A Positive Attitude Matters In Spite Of Depression

It is frustrating to live with depression. I get it. I walk to the beat of humming depression almost every day. It is even more frustrating to take a handful of medications that still do not eliminate my symptoms entirely. What helps me feel better is that I try very...

Reading And Writing As My Therapy For Bipolar Disorder

Reading And Writing As My Therapy For Bipolar Disorder

Art, music, modelling, and crafts - these are just some examples of activities that people with bipolar disorder have been using as personal therapy. I enjoy all of these creative outlets, but there are two things in particular that I have been doing to keep myself...

Coping With Bipolar Spending

Coping With Bipolar Spending

Impulsivity is a common symptom of mania, and it can present itself in different ways depending on the person. I tend to talk excessively or start new, often costly projects. I make a lot of poor decisions because I am not thinking clearly. My thoughts race, leaping...

7 Things Only People With Bipolar Will Understand

7 Things Only People With Bipolar Will Understand

1. Explaining to people that there is a difference between “moody” and “bipolar”  I had told a colleague that I have bipolar and she laughed. When she saw that I wasn’t laughing with her, she asked me if I was serious with my claim. This is very common for me....

Noise Sensitivity During Mania

Noise Sensitivity During Mania

Loud noises bother me to the point of rage during certain moods. If I am near switching moods to mania, the noise will send me into mania quicker and launch a case of full-blown rage. I also think the constant assault on my ears can trigger an episode of mania even if...

Facing Trials By Embracing Optimism

Facing Trials By Embracing Optimism

These past few years have been a season of waiting and stress for our family. My husband has struggled to find a permanent job, which has left us with no real sense of where we will settle down and start to build a life. The uncertainty of the situation has produced...

Balancing Care For Others And Yourself

Balancing Care For Others And Yourself

One part of being a mental health advocate that I pride myself on is being a walking pamphlet of resources for people struggling with mental health and being able to help them help themselves. As a student on Binghamton University’s campus, I am well known among my...

Bipolar Disorder: Benefits And Difficulties Of Routines

Bipolar Disorder: Benefits And Difficulties Of Routines

Besides medication, there are several ways an individual can help ease the symptoms of bipolar disorder. One of those is by establishing and maintaining a regular routine. There are a lot of benefits to routines and schedules.  However, it can be difficult for some of...

Facing The Truth

Facing The Truth

Her blinders have been removed click here She has taken her gloves off and removed her coat She sits in stillness with peaceful knowing Knowing from the soul Inspired by the spirit   The storm came along with no warning It whirled and twirled devastation Leaving...

When Your Diagnosis Changes

When Your Diagnosis Changes

You don't have bipolar disorder. I can't even begin to describe the feelings that came over me when I heard my newest diagnosis. You don't have bipolar disorder. You don't have anxiety disorder. You don't have OCD. After living for 10+ years...

“Take Care of Your Garden”

“Take Care of Your Garden”

I wanted to write about the importance of communicating with your doctors about medications. These medications your doctor prescribes you are there to help you, not to make you feel numb or out of touch with the world. From my experience, I have been on...

There’s Nothing Romantic About Mental Illnesses

There’s Nothing Romantic About Mental Illnesses

We have seen a lot of movies that put the spotlight on mental illness. Movies like "Girl, Interrupted," "Prozac Nation," "Rain Man" and very recently, "Silver Linings Playbook" and "Infinite Polar Bear," to name a few. These movies portray what it is like to have...

judgMENTAL

judgMENTAL

Above: mixed media on canvas by Zaeli Eliza“You're making mental illness as if it's a big deal!” “You talk too much about it. You're glamorizing your illness!” “You don't need medication. It's all in your head.” “Think positive. Toughen it up.” Clichés, I...

Learning to Manage a Manic Mind

Learning to Manage a Manic Mind

If you walked into my house right now, this is what you would see: dishes piling up, laundry in piles waiting to be folded, a dirty floor and me in bed.It’s happening again. I’m having another manic episode. This one, though, is different. Maybe it’s the empty house...

My Thoughts as a Person With Bipolar

My Thoughts as a Person With Bipolar

Having been diagnosed as a manic depressive in 2009, I have had my roller coaster ride on this illness. My brain starts to function in such a manner that no one could ever understand or fathom the swings in my moods and behavior. As a person with bipolar disorder...

SOS: Saving Your Sinking Ship

SOS: Saving Your Sinking Ship

Imagine you’re sailing on a ship full speed ahead to your next destination with naught a care in the world. All of a sudden, the ship springs a leak. It’s a small leak, so you patch it and continue to sail on. You don’t go much further before that small leak turns...

A Journey Through Mania and Back

A Journey Through Mania and Back

My name is Nicole, but most people call me Nic. Mostly because it’s easier and faster to say, but also because Australians are fond of a nickname.I have bipolar disorder Type 1 and am presently recovering from another lengthy manic episode. I could try and put a...

The Working Wounded: Bipolar Disorder on the Job

The Working Wounded: Bipolar Disorder on the Job

This Labor Day has brought back a gloomy memory. “You’ve failed at everything you’ve ever done, Daddy, and you’ve been sick all of my life.” Those stinging words came from my then 27-year-old son.  He regretted saying that to me and apologized the next day. My...

Dealing with Anger

Dealing with Anger

I have learned over time how to express anger. It’s taken me a while to figure this out. For the longest time I have thought that expressing anger meant that there was going to be an aggressive confrontation, which scares me. I am afraid of all forms of confrontation;...

Bipolar Warrior vs. Bipolar Sufferer

Bipolar Warrior vs. Bipolar Sufferer

I am an avid Instagram user. I love taking photographs of everything, whether it’s my meals, my outfits (aka #ootd - outfit of the day), my travels or my outings. Just in case you’re not familiar with the app, on Instagram, the user can include a brief bio at the top...

Facing a Psychiatric Hospitalization

Facing a Psychiatric Hospitalization

I was sitting in my psychiatrist’s office recently in a large, oversized chair staring at the slightly crooked pictures on the wall. A boat. A beach. African figures. I could hear the ticking of the clock as I scanned the piles of books and patient records underneath,...

Finding Your Strengths

Finding Your Strengths

Recently, on an Australian website called the Black Dog Institute (very helpful, search it up), I registered for a program called the 6 Week Bite Back Challenge to help individuals find gratitude and happiness. One of the weeks tested strengths and virtues. It is a...

The Guilt I Felt When My Daughter Was Diagnosed With Bipolar

The Guilt I Felt When My Daughter Was Diagnosed With Bipolar

I have bipolar disorder, anxiety, PTSD and OCD. It’s not easy living with me sometimes, especially if I forget to take my meds. I also have a history of drug and alcohol abuse. I am 41 years old, and I have spent most of the first 40 years stretching my body and mind...

Pushed to The Brink

Pushed to The Brink

When I wrote about my bipolar disorder, anxiety and PTSD, I thought it was the hardest thing I did. But now I realise that what I’m writing about today is the hardest thing I have ever done. The only reason this has taken me so long is the same reason why I kept quiet...

Parenting Made Interesting

Parenting Made Interesting

For parents taking care of a child who has autism, life is an everyday challenge. Sometimes, it's good. Other times, not so much. But what if you're a single parent? What if you're a single parent who has bipolar disorder? What would it be like then? With my son and...

Explore Your Options For Affordable Psychiatric Care

Explore Your Options For Affordable Psychiatric Care

My first instinct when realizing I needed psychiatric help because I was having a breakdown, was to call my company’s EAP (Employee’s Assistance Program). I was lost and they advertised at work that this program could help with many different things, one of them being...

You Are a Rock Star

You Are a Rock Star

Hey! Hey you! Yeah, I’m talking to you over there. The one with bipolar disorder. The one that constantly looks down on themselves and wishes they were someone else. The one that wonders what happened in their life to deserve this wretched beast of an illness. I’m...

What I Didn’t Realise About Being Diagnosed With Bipolar Disorder

What I Didn’t Realise About Being Diagnosed With Bipolar Disorder

Recently I gave a keynote presentation at the Victorian Collaborative Mental Health Nursing Conference in Australia. It was amazing and inspirational to see the great work so many mental health nurses are doing. The title of my keynote was ‘World Changing’. This title...

More Than Meds

More Than Meds

Bipolar disorder is a complex and difficult condition. Even after getting stabilized, we still have to work so hard to keep things going in the right direction. For me, medication is necessary, but the best advice I ever received was from a psychiatrist and it had...

Family History and Bipolar Disorder

Family History and Bipolar Disorder

Greetings all! I am a new blogger here as of this month, and I'm really excited to begin the process of opening up a great door: the door of honest discussion about bipolar disorder. There are so many facets to this condition. I thought I would start off with one...

How I Saved My Life

How I Saved My Life

I roll over to the edge of my bed and start searching for my pills: white pill, purple pill and a couple of other pills my psychiatrist said I needed. I'm not ready to get out of bed, but I know I can't miss another day at work. By the time I'm in the shower, I'm...

7 Things I Learned at the Psych Ward

7 Things I Learned at the Psych Ward

Does the title of this blog scare you? Does it make you laugh? Does it make you cry? Make you shudder? It might do one or all of those things. Most people never want to admit they have been to a psychiatric hospital. I can't say I would have ever dreamed I would...

Words Matter

Words Matter

I am now beginning to realize something that never occurred to me before: I “have” bipolar disorder. If you had asked me a couple of weeks ago, I would have told you that I “am” bipolar. What a difference one word makes. I “have” bipolar. Over my life, I...

The 4 Spiritual Traps of Bipolar Disorder

The 4 Spiritual Traps of Bipolar Disorder

I want to start by saying that this list of spiritual traps accompanying bipolar disorder is no scientific article. Rather, it is a list of my own experiences and those of my clients searching for ways to integrate spiritual wisdom gleaned during times of madness...

5 Rules for Facebooking When You Have Bipolar

5 Rules for Facebooking When You Have Bipolar

Although I sometimes wax nostalgic about bygone days when screens did not dominate my life and my attention was not as divided as often as it seems to be lately, the fact is I think a healthy social media community can be a great asset to persons suffering from mental...

How Cats Help Treat My Depression

How Cats Help Treat My Depression

My father didn’t believe our neighbor when he told us that our dog Ace was “taking care of a cat” in his insulated dog house outside, which was located a short distance from an almost five-foot tall woodpile in our back yard. One cold, April morning in 2003, Dad went...

Carrying the Weight

Carrying the Weight

Prior to my diagnosis and starting my treatment, I spent countless hours each day stuck in a cycle of worry and panic. I would ruminate, the worst moments of my life and every single mistake I've ever made surfacing in my mind and stuck in an infinite replay. This led...

Burnt

Burnt

I have recently experienced a mental health burnout.Normally, when I say that I mean I’m tired of dealing with my own mental health, but not this time. This time I am just jaded regarding the blogging I do.Just over two years ago I went public with my condition on...

Learning to Manage a Manic Mind

Learning to Manage a Manic Mind

If you walked into my house right now, this is what you would see: dishes piling up, laundry in piles waiting to be folded, a dirty floor and me in bed.It’s happening again. I’m having another manic episode. This one, though, is different. Maybe it’s the empty house...

30 Things Not To Say To Those With Bipolar Disorder

30 Things Not To Say To Those With Bipolar Disorder

I always enjoy reading “listicles” about “what not to say” and “what to say” to someone with a mental illness. I read them and nod my head in agreement, as I can relate all too well. There are sayings or comments that may seem helpful, but aren’t in reality because...

Life in the Cycle of Anxiety

Life in the Cycle of Anxiety

Have you ever been so afraid of tripping that you couldn't take a flight of stairs, even though something like that would never happen? This is the stage setting for my anxiety disorder. I have written about my bipolar disorder a lot of times, but my anxiety...

Meds, Memory Loss and My Support System

Meds, Memory Loss and My Support System

Approximately three years ago I started noticing that something wasn’t quite right. At first it was little things, like putting my glasses in a desk drawer instead of on my nightstand like I normally would. That was just the beginning. It progressed rapidly. Within...

Inside the Mind of Someone with Social Anxiety

Inside the Mind of Someone with Social Anxiety

I have been dealing with social anxiety since around the time I was diagnosed with Bipolar. That’s 8 long years dealing with both Bipolar and social anxiety. I used to keep myself at arms-length from people for fear of being rejected, since my social anxiety causes...

Why You Should Watch “Silver Linings Playbook”

Why You Should Watch “Silver Linings Playbook”

One of my favorite movies is Silver Linings Playbook.  It is the first mainstream movie I’ve ever seen that accurately depicts the specific symptoms that each character has.  It goes into great detail about delusions, manic episodes, depression and all...

Some Days, I Want To Get Off The Ride

Some Days, I Want To Get Off The Ride

Some days, I want to get off the ride. Some days, I just want to be “normal.” I don’t want to deal with unpleasant side effects of medications. I don’t want to endure my lows or spiral out of control during my highs. I don’t want to be crazy. I don’t want to fall...

Support For Suicidal Thoughts and Actions

Support For Suicidal Thoughts and Actions

Suicide is a permanent solution to what, with the proper help, could be a short-term situation. It needn't be permanent. Seek the help and support you need.When I attempted suicide, I caught my support system off guard, including my doctors and psychiatric nurse. I...

Bipolar Disorder: My Story and My Passions

Bipolar Disorder: My Story and My Passions

Hey guys! If you haven’t noticed, this is excitingly my first blog post for IBPF. I just thought that maybe before jumping into all the big issues, you might want to know a little about me and my relations with bipolar disorder. And I totally understand! Whenever I...

10 Lessons From 10 Years of Living With Bipolar

10 Lessons From 10 Years of Living With Bipolar

I can hardly believe that it has been 10 years since I received a diagnosis of bipolar disorder. I wish I could go back and tell my terrified teenage self that though life would sometimes be a roller coaster of ups and downs, a very bright future full of hope and joy...

Practicing Gratitude and Curiosity With Bipolar

Practicing Gratitude and Curiosity With Bipolar

Coping with the side effects of bipolar is often a matter of trial and error. What works one day, sometimes doesn't work the next. That's why I'm always on the lookout for ways to get through the day that can connect me with the world while also easing some of the...

judgMENTAL (Filipino)

judgMENTAL (Filipino)

This article is available in English here. “Ginagawa mo namang malaking bagay yang sakit mo sa utak!” “Puro yang sakit mo na lang lagi sinasabi mo. Masyado mong ginagawang glamoroso!” “Hindi mo naman kailangan ng gamot eh. Nasa utak mo lang yan!” “Maging postibo...

judgMENTAL

judgMENTAL

Above: mixed media on canvas by Zaeli Eliza“You're making mental illness as if it's a big deal!” “You talk too much about it. You're glamorizing your illness!” “You don't need medication. It's all in your head.” “Think positive. Toughen it up.” Clichés, I...

Monitoring and Managing Emotions

Monitoring and Managing Emotions

Managing emotions is something that comes along with many mental health diagnoses, especially bipolar disorder. It’s always one emotion or another and every one of them is usually to the extreme. Some of the emotions I deal with include anger, depression,...

The Blahs

The Blahs

Here’s a post I didn’t think I’d ever write! I have been on what is considered to be the best mood stabilizer for over a year, and my mood symptoms have been totally under control. No ups, no downs. I have also been taken off the selective serotonin reuptake inhibitor...

A Q&A for Self-Care Day

A Q&A for Self-Care Day

July 24 is International Self-Care Day. On behalf of International Bipolar Foundation, I asked my friend, Mike, a fitness enthusiast, yogi, plant-based eater and animal lover, to share the benefits of practicing self-care.As a person who lives with bipolar and anxiety...

International Self-Care Day — July 24

International Self-Care Day — July 24

The International Self-Care Foundation (ISF) has designated July 24 every year as International Self-Care Day (ISD) to symbolize that the benefits of self-care are experienced 24 hours a day, 7 days a week (24/7). The benefits of self-care are life-long. Each...

The Soup in My Head

The Soup in My Head

"This drawing is called 'The Soup in My Head' and was drawn by my friend Julia. We were having coffee time together and I shared with her my fear of planning something ahead as I often have fozzy, foggy mood, and moodswings, although I take lithium and...

The Danger Mental Illness Presents to Indigenous Peoples

The Danger Mental Illness Presents to Indigenous Peoples

I lived in Northwest Arkansas for several years. My little town was just across the Oklahoma state line and the Cherokee Nation, which is the federally-recognized government of the Cherokee people.  We often traveled to Tulsa for shopping and entertainment along...

Tips on Minimizing The Damage of Emotional Eating

Tips on Minimizing The Damage of Emotional Eating

Most people can say that they’ve been emotional eaters before, whether it’s crying over Chinese food after a breakup or eating too much cake on your 20th birthday. Even I can’t lie and say that my hand was not in a box of Cheez-Its just before I started writing this....

An Activist’s Preparation for the Challenges of Bipolar

An Activist’s Preparation for the Challenges of Bipolar

Above: The Revs. Aaron Maurice Saari and John Freeman being interviewed on Martin Luther King Jr. Day in front of First Presbyterian Church of Yellow Springs. My friends are going to laugh that I have the chutzpah to write an essay on self-care. You see, I am...

There’s Nothing Romantic About Mental Illnesses

There’s Nothing Romantic About Mental Illnesses

We have seen a lot of movies that put the spotlight on mental illness. Movies like "Girl, Interrupted," "Prozac Nation," "Rain man," and very recently "Silver Linings Playbook" and "Infinite Polar Bear," to name a few. These movies portray what it is like to have...

Bipolar Disorder and the Damage of Addiction

Bipolar Disorder and the Damage of Addiction

Addiction is a disease. It can turn someone strong into a powerless human being. It can make someone a prisoner in their own body. "My name is Laura and I am an addict." That sentence took me three years to say out loud. I always will be an addict, but...

Waiting On Meds To Work

Waiting On Meds To Work

Medications can be an excellent form of treatment for bipolar disorder. There are multiple forms of medications including anti-psychotics, anti-depressants, mood stabilizers and anti-anxiety. For me, the most difficult aspect of taking medications is waiting for them...

An Open Letter to Bipolar Disorder

An Open Letter to Bipolar Disorder

Dear Bipolar, You have been my closest companion over the years. You found me in high school and refused to leave my side. You convinced everyone that I was always low and moody, making me lose friends in the process. You convinced me that I was less of a person...

Baby Steps Towards Progress

Baby Steps Towards Progress

Since learning I have bipolar disorder, I have come to the reluctant realization that progress doesn’t always occur on my timetable. In my mind, I can see how things will be when I’m “all better,” but every time I race towards recovery, I inevitably stumble. It’s like...

Coming Out After 25 Years With Bipolar: Who Am I Anyway?

Coming Out After 25 Years With Bipolar: Who Am I Anyway?

I’m not who I say I am. That’s because my family would prefer I not use my given name. Many of them don’t believe in bipolar disorder. They think my difficulties were created by using street stimulants during my halcyon Hollywood years, struggling to stay...

Riding the Waves of Depression

Riding the Waves of Depression

Depression can swiftly overtake you like the tide rolling in, its current pulling you out to sea. It is like drowning, like suffocating beneath the surface as the world goes on above you. The water muffles sound and slows your movements. There is only darkness below,...

Running Stop Signs

Running Stop Signs

I was driving much too fast. I didn’t see the stop sign. I sailed right through. The stereo was pumping and my hands gripped the wheel. My foot was pushing harder on the accelerator.I came up to a second stop sign and again I saw nothing. I pushed on the pedal to go...

Self-Actualization After Psychosis

Self-Actualization After Psychosis

I hate coincidences. Ever since I’ve recovered from my bipolar psychosis, I’ve had to be wary of coincidences. Psychosis is a very difficult thing to deal with and understand. I’m going to attempt to delve into this very taboo subject because I want people to know...

My Symbol of Hope

My Symbol of Hope

For many months, I have been suffering from suicidal ideations. I was completely honest with my psychiatrist, my family and friends who support me. I told them that it was not something I wanted to act on, but I couldn’t get the thought out of my mind. For more than...

Dealing with the Loneliness of Mental Illness in India

Dealing with the Loneliness of Mental Illness in India

There's a reason many of us have trouble sharing our personal battles with mental illness. The reason is the label our society has put on mental health; that anyone who visits a mental health specialist is “crazy," or “insane." Mental illness is treated as a passing...

Overcoming Fear With Understanding

Overcoming Fear With Understanding

After 11 years of suffering quietly, I resolved to speak out about something most of us decide is a secret to take to their early graves. For years, decades, lifetimes of silence makes the thing nonexistent to the world. The only reason for this silence is the fear of...

My Beacon of Light: Electroconvulsive Therapy

My Beacon of Light: Electroconvulsive Therapy

Two years ago there was one thing above all in the mental health world that made the hairs on the back of my neck stand up, and it was electroconvulsive therapy (ECT). Not the thought of the procedure itself, but the side effects. As a nursing student, I did a...

Learning Through Art and Others

Learning Through Art and Others

Apart from the mental conditions I was diagnosed with and am being treated for, I am a recluse and an introvert by nature. Even so, neither of those make me remorseful nor ashamed. I admit though, whenever I am “comme ci, comme ça," I still do try to be a chameleon —...

Divorce: Writing and My Recovery

Divorce: Writing and My Recovery

“I want a divorce.” The sentence I was afraid of was coming finally came from his mouth. It felt like a ton of bricks and an ache in my stomach. I felt like I was in a movie where the camera zooms out and shows you like an ant.Shortly after he moved out, I overdosed...

Happy Birthday to a Brilliant Father From Your #1 Fan

Happy Birthday to a Brilliant Father From Your #1 Fan

Dear Dad,  On your birthday, and on every day, you should know how appreciated and loved you are. I am your daughter that was shy, was afraid of strangers, had separation anxiety from Mom (from what I hear), and was afraid of my own shadow. I played it safe...

Thank You for Showing Me True Friendship

Thank You for Showing Me True Friendship

Dear Friend (On Your Birthday), We met almost 17 years ago, we dated in Grade 10, we had fun while it lasted (all of 6 or 7 months), and went through the “awkward” phase were we couldn’t be friends because “exes” weren’t friends in high school. But, that didn’t...

Family: My Circle of Support

Family: My Circle of Support

A good support system can mean the difference between living a possibly comfortable life and suffering alone without help. We who suffer know that support is important, but so many people just don't have access to acceptable support or even a partial support...

Mania and Marriage: Coping With Hypersexuality

Mania and Marriage: Coping With Hypersexuality

Have you ever cheated on your best friend? Have you ever betrayed the trust of someone you cared about more deeply than yourself? How did it feel? For me, it felt like my entire world collapsed around me. My husband — my best friend — no longer trusts me. I broke my...

5 Things Bipolar II Disorder Has Taught Me

5 Things Bipolar II Disorder Has Taught Me

This year my psychiatrist changed my initial diagnosis of severe depression to Bipolar II Disorder. For a moment I felt like my world had stopped spinning. I felt lost and betrayed because I did not know what this new diagnosis meant for me. For days I lived in denial...

My Path to Mental Health Advocacy

My Path to Mental Health Advocacy

Until I was 16, I thought that my uncle had died of cancer rather than suicide. There was always a dark joke in the family that we have a history of mental illness in our lineage. There is the distant cousin who lived in a tiger cage because, well, he thought he was a...

Supporting One Another Following the Orlando Tragedy

Supporting One Another Following the Orlando Tragedy

International Bipolar Foundation expresses our profound sorrow after the tragic shooting at an Orlando nightclub on Sunday. While we do not yet know whether the shooter suffered from mental illness, the impact to the mental health of victims and their families as...

Depressive Breakdowns: The Angry, The Weak and The Strong

Depressive Breakdowns: The Angry, The Weak and The Strong

Your buttocks are cold and aching because you’ve been pressing them for too long against those filthy concrete steps on the hallway, in front of the elevator. There are cigarette stumps and ashes all over the place, but that does not bother you in the least. You’re...

Celebrating Mental Health Milestones

Celebrating Mental Health Milestones

I recently planned my Drug Treatment Court Graduation. In July I will successfully graduate; the courtroom will be full of my guests and other participants. Each member of the seven panel treatment team — including the judge — will take time to give me accolades,...

Thanks For The Memories

Thanks For The Memories

Memories are maybe our most precious commodity. And I mean that they are a one-time deal; once we lose them we cannot get them back. That is the worst part about memories. But they also ground us, they give us direction by showing us where we have been, they allow us...

Finding Meaning in Psychosis

Finding Meaning in Psychosis

No one ever sat me down and told me I had bipolar disorder. I can only imagine that some people indeed have this sort of experience. A person might see a clinician, tell them what’s wrong, answer some questions, and maybe fill out a test before learning they have a...

You Are Not Your Symptoms, But Take Care!

You Are Not Your Symptoms, But Take Care!

Don’t let your symptoms define you. You are not your illness. When you are sick, in a manic phase, you may be angry, irritable, grandiose, a chatterbox. When you are depressed, you may be hopeless, even suicidal, totally fatigued, anxious, withdrawn and perhaps even...

Torn Between Realities

Torn Between Realities

This was written during a manic episode when the author was experiencing psychosis and was hospitalized. It contains adult language which may be triggering to some readers. I awaken. I hear hospital noises. I feel aloof but in control. Why am I here? What is my...

A Thank You Letter to a Very Special Husband

A Thank You Letter to a Very Special Husband

Dear Husband,  We made it through the first year of marriage (not that I had any doubts, don’t worry)! We’ve been through more than our fair share of difficult times, loss and trying times together. But, through thick and thin, we’ve stayed together and...

Life After Mania: Picking Up the Pieces

Life After Mania: Picking Up the Pieces

Several years ago, before I was diagnosed, during a particularly difficult bout of psychosis I believed I was a prophet receiving messages from God. I went days at a time without sleep, diligently documenting everything I heard, scribbling frantically and filling up...

Honesty Between Patients and Psychiatrists

Honesty Between Patients and Psychiatrists

I was diagnosed over a decade ago. I was young, a teenager, lost with no clue what to do. My first psychiatrist, who I met at age 14, didn’t want to diagnose me when I was too young. He waited a couple years to officially diagnose me with bipolar 1 disorder; I respect...

Faith and Prayer When Going Through Depression

Faith and Prayer When Going Through Depression

How do I pray, as someone who lives with bipolar disorder? In my younger years when I was fairly stabilized on medicine, the daily Scriptures were my prayer and my study, sometimes studying several hours with my commentaries and allowing the silence to foster the Holy...

Helping A Loved One When They’re Not Doing Well

Helping A Loved One When They’re Not Doing Well

I recently watched as a friend deteriorated as a result of a new medication. She was having an adverse reaction to it and within days was manic. Everyone else saw a happy-go-lucky her, while I saw the irritation building in her, as well as her frustration as she tried...

Learning to Be Vulnerable

Learning to Be Vulnerable

I was once someone that would read relationship advice articles scoffing at what were commonly myths and misconceptions of how romantic love works. I was a teenager anyway; and we all know that teenagers are authorities in all topics under the sun. I watched too much...

Translate »