Our Blog

Half of Me

It was the first Saturday night at my new place and I was anxious to get away from the cardboard boxes that filled my room. Luckily, I had been invited by an old friend to come join her and a couple of her friends in the city. I didn’t know anyone in the area yet and...

From Denial to Acceptance: Asking For, Accepting Help, and Waiting for the Meds to Kick In

I have bipolar 1 disorder with mixed episodes. I’m having a resting day again and I’m trying not to feel guilty about it. My preschooler is with a friend and my husband took off work. About a week and a half ago it became clear that hypomania started working overtime,...

I Don’t Want to Be a Girl

What does it mean to be a girl? This question seemed to scratch incessantly at the forefront of my mind growing up. I was never sure, never had any definite answers to cling to and the answers I did have were discouraging. I didn’t realise that I was merely...

Volunteer of the Year – Cameron Meeker

Cameron lives in Arizona and is one of our graphic designers. You have seen her work if you follow us on any of our social media accounts. She designs graphics for events, anti stigma campaigns, and anything else we ask her to do. If you participated in World Bipolar...

Volunteer of the Year – Libby Hewes

Libby is one of our local volunteers in San Diego, California. She gives presentations and goes to resource fairs for us to spread awareness about bipolar disorder and IBPF. Libby is very knowledgable about living with bipolar disorder and is wonderful at...

Bipolar Attraction

“Bipolar (Disorder) people must have magnets to one another, because since I met you I have met all your friends and they all have Bipolar Disorder,” observes my partner.  So I do a quick search of the internet: A 2009 thread describes a similar...

Mental Health Challenges and Recovery

I like referring to mental illnesses as mental health challenges.  This is because it is more inclusive of people who may not have a diagnosis.  It reminds us that there are many related challenges and it offers hope that the challenges can be...

Diary of a Mood Swing

2/25/15 Mania.  I am manic as hell right now.  I can’t sit still.  Nothing is enough. It’s insatiable.  I smoke too much, want sex too much, shop too much.  And it’s never enough. Never.  I have to keep going, keep seeking out...

Exercise

How do you deal with the pain and anxiety that comes with having bipolar? Have you ever thought about exercising? I exercise six days a week and it is a huge stress reliever. I highly recommend it. It's hard finding the motivation to do it, but you could always...

My Experience with ECT

I think as a blogger it’s important to touch upon a lot of different topics. It’s also important to know the audience you’re writing for, and I’m finding this topic of ECT being discussed a lot within the mental health community online groups. Electroconvulsive...

Exiting The Blizzard Meditation

There is a saying, that we are as “unique as snowflakes”, that “no one is the same”, by just being human. I knew there was something happening in my mind but all of a sudden, I was grouped together with a bunch of especially unique snowflakes that were sort of like...

To React or Not To React

One of the challenges of living with bipolar is not knowing when one is being overly reactive. I have had to think through this question quite a few times in the past six months with respect to circumstances that affect my sleep. Previously I mentioned that...

Mania: Everything That Makes Sense, Until It Doesn’t

Practicing self-care when it comes to Bipolar Disorder means that not only do I take my meds and see my doctor regularly, but also over the years I've learned a few "tricks" to help get me by. These are simple things that make my life, and the lives of the people in...

Rebuilding After an Episode

At the start of the year I returned to work after 6 months off due to a depressive episode, and as always, it was hard. This was the third time I’ve had to pick myself up after lengthy hospital stays for either depression or mania. While you’re in hospital...

Surviving Suicide

 March is always a hard month for me and my family because of the anniversary of my brother’s death. This year on March 16th, it is the 10th year since he took his life. He suffered from bipolar disorder and passed away when he was only 25 years old. He died...

Not a Problem for Today

I'm not sure where I learned this string of 5 words but it has been a mighty big help in my life! For example:  Today I was working on my Facebook page and for promotional purposes I wanted to view the people who had "liked" my page. I tried one button after...

Continuing Recovery

“Hey, how are you?” Oh man. Yikes. Whoa. Here we go again. I pause and consider my options in response to this question. If you have bipolar or experience any other form of mental illness, you probably understand why this question can be so tricky to answer. Do I...

Can’t Turn Back Time

My kids are growing up. I know it's inevitable, but I want time to stop. I know there are many parents that feel that way, but for me it's heartbreaking. You see, I missed out on a lot of precious time with my kids while they were growing up. For the past 10...

Stickers on the Floor: Productivity in the Home, Part I

Last night after the kids went to bed, I was mopping frantically looking at these spots on the kitchen floor. Why won’t these come up? I set the mop to the side, maneuvered my way - slipping and sliding - to take a closer look. Yep. Stickers. My two kids love their...

Understanding Me

How far can my loved ones understand me when it comes to my disorder?  Sometimes I think they get it, other times…not so much.  When I am manic, for example, no one takes my credit card and tells me to stay in the house and not do “outrageous things” like...

Lift Me Up File

The purpose of this tool is to be reminded of good things that people have said about us.  When I've felt low in the past and taken a look through this file, it has helped to improve my mood.  This tool consists of both a physical file folder and a digital...

Medications: To have or not, that is the question!

This is the million dollar question.  If you're newly diagnosed, the idea of being on medication for the rest of your life can be terrifying.  If you've been on medications for years and now they have stopped working, the possibility of no medications can...

The Role of Love as a Healing Force in Bipolar Disorder

I just watched A Beautiful Mind again and found the premise that love conquers all somewhat hyperbolic in the film (I kept thinking, “If you’d just take your meds…”).  But then I remembered my college English teacher, who said hyperbole usually contains a shred of...

May Cause Depression

May cause depression. Three of the scariest words I’ve ever read. May. Cause. Depression. As a person living with bipolar, moods are a central point when making decisions. If I take this job will I be happy? Will I be forced to give up free time and activities...

My Manic Summer

The summer of 2013/2014 was magnificent, exhilarating and glorious. It was also a manic summer. I had just come out of one of the darkest winters of my life, where I was hospitalised and everything had ground to a halt for months. Spring came around, and with it...

Bipolar Disorder- A Fiddler on My Roof

I recently directed a high school production of Fiddler on the Roof. For those of you who may not know it, this is the story of a simple milkman in 1905 Russia who tries to keep the traditions of his Jewish culture and the desires of his contemporary daughters in...

Let Go

For many years I have carried a huge weight on my heart, my soul and my mind. While I was battling my bipolar illness six years ago, many things happened in my life that were an outcome of my illness but not typical of my true personality, values and morals.  I...

Does Putin have Aspergers?

I was recently annoyed to read of a diagnostic which purported that Putin belonged on the Autism spectrum. Not only is this a preposterous claim, see the Guardian article I've included below, but it's an irrelevant claim. What is the problem with a statesman...

Thinking of Creating A Support Group? You Can Do It! Part 1

During the past year I received wonderful online support from bipolar-themed social media contacts and bloggers.  As fulfilling as their encouragement was, I also craved real life support, connection and friendships with people diagnosed with bipolar...

Those Who Live in Glass Houses

I can see the world around me. The trees, the lakes, the beautiful snow. I can see the children playing, laughing and so. I can see the couples hand in hand, the snow covered beach sand. I can see the beautiful houses sitting a row, I can see the wildlife such as a...

Drop-In Peer Centers for Behavioral Health: An Exploding Trend

One of the reasons I am glad that I moved to Florida is that it led me to a peer run drop in center near my house called Rebel’s Drop In. In my small county, Broward, between Palm Beach and Miami-Dade, we have 5 of these centers. Peer run drop in centers average 5 per...

I Have Been Diagnosed Bipolar- Now the Real Journey Begins

The best part about having bipolar disorder, is knowing you have bipolar disorder. There aren’t any other tangible benefits, but there are definite ways to cope. Even though I had hundreds of friends and thousands online friends, life after my diagnosis was...

Yoga Philosophy for Bipolar Disorder 101: Part 2, Satya

The basic “do’s” and “don’ts” of Yoga philosophy are called the ‘Yamas’ and ‘Niyamas.’ Sourced from the ancient Yoga Sutras of Patanjali, they illustrate universal truths of the human condition and practical, applicable solutions for a better way of life... for...

The Fantasy World That I Had To Give Up

For most of my life I made it possible for myself to pay attention to what was happening in front of me but also be in this well designed, heavenly, whirl-wind sort of fantasy world that I had created to save me from myself. Of course I did not realize this until...

When Others Don’t Seem To Care

“YOU DON’T CARE!” I shouted this at my mother the other day… and it was hurtful on so many levels. Because when I calmed down and thought about it, she DID care… in many other ways. In the vein of Gary Chapman’s Five Love Languages, I want to thank my...

Reschedule Your Worries

Are you worried?  Thinking about a loved one or trouble at work? Worried about something you are in charge of or a relationship problem? Have you ever considered "rescheduling" your worry? Can you give yourself 5 minutes to worry about it today then open up your...

You Are My Reason

Good evening readers, what a cold frigid night were having. But I’m thankful I am inside where it’s nice and warm. Tomorrow is Valentine’s Day and it’s a celebration of love, but it shouldn’t just be on this special day, but every day, we experience love in some form,...

Group Therapy Provides Hope

I recently joined a bipolar support group. My doctor and therapist have been encouraging me for months to join the group. They believed it would help me "normalize" some of my feelings by being around others who might have the same experiences. I put off going to...

La Bipolaridad y el HIV

Tratar este tema es un poco delicado ya que estamos hablando  de dos condiciones de salud que en América Latina no se habla mucho en Publico y mucho menos se trata abiertamente por todas las personas involucradas en estos temas. Para comenzar deseo dar una pequeña...

Abandonment and Rejection

I woke up one day in 2011 in a 50 feet by 50 feet room lying on a mattress on the floor. One week had elapsed since I was consciously aware of where I was. My phone had gone off and I had not shown up for work or called any of my family members in a week. The only...

I Am So Much More Than My Label

In a previous blog, I referred to my Bipolar and PTSD as my dragon, something only I can tame and ride. When you are labeled with a mental illness, the stigma associated with it can become debilitating.  It is as if you somehow become weaker by association,...

Why Recovery is Possible

I recently read an article written by a person who is tired of people like me talking about recovery from psychiatric disorders.  She wanted us to “stop talking about recovery and start using a more useful and less stigmatizing word: hope.”  I am not sure...

Everyday Hero

I’ve noticed that after I wrote my last post about why I’m grateful about being on the psych ward some opinions were unflattering. I understand that for some people it may have looked like those three weeks of hospitalization were three weeks of holiday. Not for me...

Getting Through a Major Medication Change

For many of us who have had bipolar disorder for several years, we may need to undergo a medication change for various reasons.  When you are taking medications over the long term, they may stop working as well as they did initially.  Or a new drug might...

Support

As we go through our journey with our disorder, we need support. Whether it's from family, friends, or a higher power, it is essential that we have someone that will always have our backs. We can't do this alone. I'm forever grateful for my God, my husband, and...

Benefits of Having a Label

January 28, 2015 was Bell Let’s Talk Day in Canada.  It’s an initiative by a major company to get more people talking about mental health.  The intention is to reduce stigma and raise awareness.  Bell donated five cents towards mental health programs...

Bipolar Depression and Suicide

Melancholy It’s winter.I knew you’d be knocking at my door soon.Your familiar spirit--always unwelcomed--but persistent. She asked me “What are you depressed about?”I wanted to shout “About the serotonin depletion,The change in weather that makes my synapses...

Cha-Cha-Cha-Changes: Getting better at them all the time

('Changes' song lyric sample from David Bowie, album "Hunky Dory" 1971)When the seasons change, I often have a bipolar relapse, one that starts small, like a snowball, gathering speed and size as it rolls down the hill, exploding on the impact of hitting bottom! Boom!...

Spotting Icebergs From Miles Away: How to Use Early Warning Signs in Bipolar Disorder Relapse Prevention

This is the first part in a 3 part series. We recommend reading them together.Part 2: Understanding Triggers and Vulnerabilities in Bipolar DisorderPart 3: Management Strategies for Successful Relapse PreventionI recently watched a documentary called...

Why I’m Grateful For Being On the Psych Ward

In the beginning I thought that it would kill me, my personality, and my future. But after a few weeks I’m hugely grateful for this experience. I got there because I wanted to attempt suicide. I’ve had a few suicide attempts before but this one was extremely...

Loneliness

The days following my dad’s death by suicide were the loneliest of my life.  In a roomful of people, in the midst of a hug, in the middle of a conversation, the resounding thought I had was that I was alone. No one had the relationship I did with my dad, no one...

Yoga Philosophy for Bipolar Disorder 101: Part 1, Ahimsa

Yoga is more than what you want your body to look like. What do you want your life to look like? The core philosophy of Yoga - not just seeking fulfillment in the material world while still living in it - offers a structure of restrictions and observances to...

Out in the Milkweed

I wrote this piece to express how I've felt stigmatized by those who haven't gotten past how I've been doing better with bipolar one.  While it's obvious in this piece that I am angry, I believe there is hope for healing for us all."Out in the Milkweed”In some...

My Biggest Competitor

It’s no secret that I have struggled with bipolar disorder for several years. What may be less known is that I have also fought hard to overcome numerous setbacks and personal losses as a result of my illness. I don’t like that I have had to deal with an illness as...

A Journey to Health and Resilience

I didn’t realize it, but I have been on a quest for the past 20 years. At first, it felt like I was just trying to figure myself out. I wasn’t happy with my life as it was laid out for me. So like many people in their late teens and early twenties, I bounced...

Learning to Be Stable

What is ‘stable’? After 6 years of constant ups and downs I wouldn’t know what euthymia was like if it slapped me in the face. I was diagnosed with unipolar depression when I was 20 and up until 22 (when I was re-diagnosed with bipolar), I thought I had been...

Goals

Good afternoon readers: It is a cold and rainy day, yet I find such relaxation when I write and when I blog. It is such a passion of mine. This month’s topic is Goals. We are in a new year, a new beginning. I know some of you may set New Year’s resolutions, and some...

When We Value Things Differently

In my last blog entry I wrote about the art of giving space and the example I gave was more about physical space. Since then I have had a think about a different type of giving space – giving others the space to value things differently. I think it helps me to choose...

Planning Ahead for Your Next Episode

I just finished filling out a WRAP plan with the help of my therapist. WRAP stands for Wellness Recovery Action Plan. The plan can be found at mentalhealthrecovery.com and is free to print out. This isn’t the first time I’ve filled out the plan. Years ago while I...

How to Deal with A Negative Person

My daughter was having challenges with her boss.  Despite her best efforts all she got was verbal and non-verbal criticism. “I don’t like that…you need to do it my way…you’re not good enough.” Although she is naturally a positive person, every time her boss came...

Bipolar Mother, Bipolar Son

I dreamed of having a child throughout my formative years.  When asked what I would be when I grew up, I readily answered “A Mommy!”  I doted on baby dolls, babysat throughout my teen years and dressed every cat we ever owned up as a baby.  I deeply...

Who Am I?

I sat in a chair at a psychiatrist’s office and am asked questions that provoke me to describe both my depressive and hypomanic states. It was painful yet enlightening. When I am depressed I am stupid, lazy and useless. When I am depressed I am weak,...

I’m Not a Victim, I’m a Survivor

Around Christmas I got into an argument with my ex-husband, no big surprise there.  Communication has never been our strongest asset.  Anyway during the argument he said some things that really upset me and have really stayed with me.  He said, “Quit...

Not Backing Down

The views expressed in this blog are the personal opinions of the author. Blogs are written based on the author’s personal experience and may differ for other individuals. I wrote an article on this before but it's so important to me I need to speak up about it...

Possibilities in the New Year

Often times, people are depressed after the holiday season for a variety of reasons, but the New Year brings with it new possibilities if we are open to them.  Every moment we are alive is a new moment so every moment brings a new possibility even though we may...

Health

It's January and this is the month that we hear all about health. We start seeing more health and diet topics in magazines and healthy food goes on sale more. I don't mean to sound like Mrs. Goody-Goody, but I love all this. That's because I used to be VERY...

Creative Minds Want To Know

Much has been written and said about a potential link between the hypomanias of Bipolar Disorder and creativity.  Last month’s Webinar, Igniting The Creative Fire: The Neurobiology Of Creativity In Bipolar Disorder With Dr. Mohammad Alsuwaidan, explored the link...

I Choose Life

I am just going to come out and say it.  I, Nanieve, am relieved that I can finally rip down the gaudy Christmas baubles, fold up the tree, and wipe the stupid but, expected cheerful grin off my face. To me, the festive season feels unbearably stressful....

I Have a Bipolar Support Dog

When I got my dog, Lena, just over two years ago, I didn’t yet know I had bipolar disorder. I had been diagnosed with major depression by my college’s health services and given only an anti-depressant to take. I had been high as a kite all summer – my apartment was...

What One Thing Can You Consistently Do to Make the Biggest Change in Your Mindset?

At this time of year people are already starting to think of New Year’s resolutions. Have you?  Think about the title question.  What one thing can consistently do to make the biggest change in your mindset?  It could be many things.  Some examples...

Friends

“Only solitary men know the full joys of friendship. Others have their family; but to a solitary and an exile his friends are everything." WILLA CATHERI discovered I had bipolar disorder in May 2014. The diagnosis was delivered roughly 12 hours after I had called 911,...

A Torn Yet Magical Christmas

I hope you all are having a wonderful Holiday Season and you all have a blessed Christmas. This month’s blog entry will be a poem that I wrote; I hope it brings you comfort and strength, though this time of year is a joyous time for many, many others suffer alone and...

The Social Weight Behind Research and its Possible Impact

Having experienced, at least in some small way, the nature of higher education, I've come to understand how the significance of politics in research has come to dominate fields once dedicated to improving our grasp of both natural and social sciences. Unfortunately,...

We Need to Talk

First of all, I just want to say I am excited about making my first official post for the International Bipolar Foundation. I never thought the need for an outlet would bring me here. It means a lot to me to have this opportunity. I have Bipolar Disorder. Bipolar...

EFT- Emotional Freedom Technique – a 6 minute therapy?

What is EFT? It is a type of therapy used for physical and emotional pain.  It utilizes acupressure from the east along with the “power of thoughts” from the west and creates a usable technique that can be used quickly and effectively. EFT helps us get from...

La Bipolaridad en Países en Vías de Desarrollo

Yo nací en un País que se considera un país en vías de desarrollo donde el acceso a los sistemas de salud pública es extremadamente precaria, por esa condición las personas con bipolaridad tenemos doble estigma una el de la pobreza  y segundo la...

The Art of Giving Space

Recently I went to a private ward to be admitted just so I could sleep well for a few days. The irony was that it happened just a week after I had come back to Singapore to be with family – I had done that precisely so that I could have more stability in my housing...

Managing a Relapse When Your Child is Ill

Recently, my daughter had to have heart surgery to close a hole in her heart that should have closed on its own shortly after she was born. She is 18 months old and is now 7 weeks post surgery, healed quickly and is now considered to be healthy and normal.  But...

A Different Take on Exercise, and Why I Want You To Join Me!

Long before I was diagnosed with postpartum bipolar one disorder, I led an active life.  After college graduation, I became an American Council on Exercise certified personal trainer and I worked in a family-owned gym  My duties included greeting members and...

Rescued by a Dog

I own a psychiatric service dog. He’s similar to a dog that would assist a blind person, but he’s trained differently. He’s not a therapy or emotional assistance dog, he’s a certified service dog and is allowed anywhere that a dog for the blind would be allowed to...

Summer and the Festive Season

Living in the Southern Hemisphere where Christmas and New Years is a time of long, hot days, and having Bipolar with ‘seasonal affective components’ usually results in me becoming elevated. The 15 hours of sunshine, hot weather and days of being active at the beach is...

Tis the Season to be Depressed

It is that time of year again when we are supposed to be joyful, surrounded by friends and family, and have a generous heart.  Many of us though find this time of year to be depressing especially because we are supposed to be in the Holiday Spirit.  We are...

Life Preserver

The American Foundation for Suicide Prevention’s (AFSP) logo is a life preserver. I think the idea is that the organization brings people together who want to preserve life and prevent suicide. For those of us who have tried to help a loved one who has to navigate...

Gift Ideas For Loved Ones With Bipolar Disorder: 20 Presents That Promote Wellness

Buying a gift for a friend or family member with bipolar disorder? Skip the standard Starbucks gift card - and choose something that promotes wellness. Below are a wide variety of selections ranging from $1 to $200 (you can find many of them at discounted prices, so...

The Loss of Friends and the Actual Reality of It All

We all know someone or have gone through the experience of losing friends because of a mental illness. I don’t have many friends right now and I go day by day watching my two sisters, my Mom, my Dad, and even going into a store, I see girls laughing together and the...

It’s the Most Triggering Time of the Year

Jumping off my balcony, abusing drugs, walking down the middle of a highway and neglecting meds. That’s how I use to ring in the New Year and wish my family a Merry Christmas. Since I’ve been diagnosed bipolar in 2011 I’ve found that once the Christmas season hits, I...

I Should Just Go

Often, there are times when we don’t want to do anything; nothing inspires, nothing motivates, nothing is uplifting. “It seems that the weight of the world is bearing down on me and I can’t possibly do anything about it-I should just go. It’s just one thing after...

Dual Diagnosis

“Population-based studies have documented that among all patients with major psychiatric disorders, those with bipolar disorder have the highest prevalence of comorbid substance abuse and dependence” (Tohen, et. al 1998, Pg. 133).My substance abuse came long before my...

To Loathe or To Love?

To Loathe Every time I looked in the mirror I hated what I saw. Self-loathing had been a big part of my identity. Why did I hate myself so much? Why did I look at my reflection with contempt and disgust? I am not sure how or when it started, but many of...

Psychiatry in Jordan

Teamwork in Psychiatry: King Abdullah University Hospital as a ModelI would like to make it crystal clear that this story aims not as the title may suggest, to draw up a panoramic view of the mental health system in Jordan. Nor does it claim a science-based approach...

15 Seconds of Uninterrupted Positive Thought

I am fortunate to be mentally stable and manage my bipolar disorder well.  That being said I sometimes have a tendency to not always have a positive mindset throughout my day.  At times negative things that people say or do bother me and I’m not able to let...

Stigma

I wanted to start off this month's blog by saying that I'm so thankful that I live in a society where I can both be honest about my mental illness and reach out to others. I know that we used to live in a time where you pretty much couldn't talk about any mental...

Mental Illness and the Holidays

Nine years ago this December, my mental illness erupted through the surface of my otherwise regular life. Work was a snowstorm of activity with the holidays approaching, and I remember feeling super stressed out trying to keep all my end-of-the-year meetings with my...

Broken Radio Dial

Being understood is on my top ten list of desires.  I’d imagine it’s pretty high on everyone’s list but for those suffering from an illness which carries so much stigma, being understood can save a life.  I’m talking about being understood by the people that...

Attitude of Gratitude for Thanksgiving

Outside its cold, inside I’m warm as I sit down to drink my hot cup of herbal tea and write my blog. Usually each month when I submit my blog, I address a certain topic that is important in the mental health community, but this month I want to focus on what it means...

Hopping Off the Merry-Go-Round

Since I was diagnosed bipolar I’ve found myself in a constant cycle. I remain compliant with medications and avoid substances and I enjoy euphoria and life for that matter. However, the second I deviate from my prospective recovery regimen everything goes awry and I’m...

Family and Friends Who Mean Well But Really Have No Clue

 We've all heard it before, or something similar, "This too shall pass". "Just puts your big girl panties on". "You've been here before, you can do it again". While our loved ones mean well, in the throes of depression, these are sometimes the absolute worst...

Caregiving Matters

There are three things that I have begun to incorporate into my way of thinking as a caregiver. It started when I was in my early 20’s and began to lightly step onto the caregiving path for my aging grandmother. My parents long ago started something, (now defunct),...

Labeling Without Thought

A recent discussion with a nurse practitioner prompted me to think about the nature of labels. She argued that regardless of the label, the underlying condition of behavior consistent with that description remains unaffected by the label assigned. Naturally, I...

That’s Not a Real Diagnosis

“That’s not a real illness.” “I don’t believe in mental health.” “If you don’t need medication, you must not really have bipolar.” These are just a few of the long stream of comments from people in my life, the most recent being “You know, I don’t think you’re...